Big Announcement In 2011, We're Going Interactive! Join me on My ADVENTURES!

I needed a little nudge from one of our readers, Stephanie who asked, "Why can't we come along with you on one of your adventures?"  When I dreamed up the Adventure Bowl, I could have never IMAGINED I would get such incredible feedback and people would respond so positively as I dared myself to do one spontaneous, fun, daring and OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE adventure a week as a way to "get back to my old self" after I life had taken some hard and unexpected turns.

But it always seems to be the blog post you all respond to and love the most.  The reason I have not wanted to ask readers to join me before this was 2 fold:  One, it takes A LOT of time to write the blog and respond to people's comments and when you see I have not posted in a while it's because I am secretly in despair that I owe so many sweet commenters comments back on their blogs.  Two, I didn't know how to do it and DO IT PERFECTLY.

Now that I'm growing up (LOL) I am backing off the idea of PERFECTION in a big way.  I'm going easy on myself.  This may work, it may not work.  Let's just try it and be imperfect together!

But to address those 2 fold concerns - 1)  I want everyone to know, I ALWAYS, ALWAYS read your comments, I love them and I feel like they push me on.  Especially when I lost my great uncle this year, when I found out my cousin had brain cancer, even as I nervously needed a nudge to do the Adventure, "Ask A Boy Out on A Date."

But I would LOVE, LOVE you to also join us on Facebook where it is easier for me to interact with other readers/adventurers/dear friends.  So yes, keep commenting!  I love it.  But in order to undertake this new phase, please join us for discussion and fun on Facebook, too!

Also, I will only post on the blog announcing the Adventure and then following up with Updates on how it is going.  I think if there is less to write, there will be more time for living and adventure and I won't feel like I am overwhelmed.  (I hope you understand :)

I will always post when a new blog post is up on Facebook and Twitter (link to come soon!).

BUT NOW FOR THE FUN PART:

YOU are invited to JOIN ME ON MY ADVENTURES!  And here's how:

Every week I will pull and Adventure.  For instance, before Thanksgiving, I pulled, "Ask a Boy Out on A Date."  Now, every one of you can't neccesarily do that adventure... your boyfriend or husband might be offended.  LOL!  But, I did, on Facebook challenge everyone to "come" on the adventure with me.

Here's what I wrote:  "SINGLE LADIES: Ask a guy out today :) You can do it! NON-SINGLES: Do something you thought you'd never do, that makes you nervous but YOU KNOW is ultimately rewarding ;)"

So, from now on, when I pick an Adventure, I will challenge you to do something very close to my adventure or IN THE SPIRIT of my Adventure.

In six months OR LESS :) hopefully, we will graduate to everyone having their own Adventure Bowls.

The MOST IMPORTANT part of this is to know it really does CHANGE your life.  And I am hoping that by you participating and posting ideas/thoughts/feedback on Facebook, you will change others lives.

Who's game?  ;)  

Because I just pulled:  "Join a Meet-up" this morning!  I DARE YOU!

xoxoxoox

******

Big Announcement
In 2011, We're Going Interactive! Join me on My ADVENTURES!

Adventure Bowl "Ask A Boy Out On A Date"

You're kidding me, right?  I CAN'T do that.  I'm shy... I'm not good with rejection... I need a week not a DAY to do this.

Ugh... okay, okay... here I go.  (Wait... where do I go?  LOL)

(UPDATES COMING... Humiliation, too, I'm sure :)

UPDATE:  FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19

I did it!!!  Okay, here's how it ALL went down.  I went to the gym, the hardware store and this really busy restaurant for lunch where I know all the guys (and girls) in the neighborhood go for lunch.  Nothing.  I mean, yes, boys a plenty in most cases just no opportunity-- okay, maybe there was and I was just - I am so out of practice.

If you're out of practice, the hardware store is a great place to go P.S. (like a Home Depot) but all these stores in NYC are little with skinny aisles and after asking one of two guys there opinion on wood glue the opener said to me, "I told you five times which one to buy!"

Uh.  Embarrassing.  And I wish I could have grabbed him by the collar and said, "Listen!  I am on an adventure and I HAVE TO ASK A GUY ON A DATE BY TONIGHT!  Guys come here!  Stop ruining it!  Let me ask whoever I want about this damn wood glue!"

Instead I just bought the wood glue and left.

I don't have any wood to glue, either.

Now it's 6pm.  I know I can take the easy way out.  Go to the bar, have a few drinks... ask someone out.  Only, I don't want to be that desperate girl in the bar and I DON'T want liquid courage to do this adventure.

So...

I take an ad out on Craigslist.  yeah, that's right, I did.

I'm going to post it late here in another UPDATE and then let you know how my VERY AWESOME DATE went LAST NIGHT!

UPDATE NOVEMBER 23

So, that's right, I asked a guy... or many guys for that matter, OUT ON CRAIGSLIST.  LOL.  I took out an ad in the personal section that went a little like this:

Hi, I am looking for a fun, upbeat, spontaneous guy to ask out on a date.  I challenged myself to ask a guy out today and let's just say, the plan went south.  I am new to NYC and think it would be fun to hang out and have a drink with someone who feels like taking a chance on someone he's never met before.  A little about me - funny or so I'm told, 5'5, wavy (crazy) hair, loves to read, explore the city and try new things.  If a date with me sounds like something you might be interested, send me your picture (no penises please!  I already know what one looks like) and tell me a bit about yourself!   I will do the same.   Best, K

And then, there he was, maybe an hour later.  Cute... in the way I find guys cute... tall, mop tops, that kind of "I look like I rolled out of bed but it's really that I've been so busy being up to something else" look that I like...  a little offbeat... jeans and t-shirt guy.  Dark hair, curly wavy and blue eyes.  Swoon.

There was something about his face that was kind... that told me he probably wouldn't stuff me in a suitcase and put me in the Hudson.  We did the email dance for quite a bit and then we met at a bar/restaurant near me.  Laughed a lot.  Drank a little more to ease the nerves.  Split a burger (cute) and just had really fun, sweet conversation.

I was kind of beaming ear to ear in that way you really shouldn't on a first date.  It was just, I could not believe that not only had I done the ADVENTURE but it had turned out THIS GOOD.

That's the point of all this - to DO SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU CANNOT DO and then see, it's REALLY not that hard.  And then wonder, "What else have I been putting off that I thought I couldn't do?  Maybe now I can do that, too!"

Yes, there was kissing.  It was nice.  He is so sweet.  We've been out a few more times.  We'll see what happens but for now... I can't believe this is my life :)  That the girl who once couldn't get out of bed now is doing so many things to make sure she never gets back in there.

*****

*****

Adventure Bowl
"Ask A Boy Out On A Date"

Let's Talk About Sex The Condom Aisle, Embarrassment for Miles

They were painting my apartment and I was staying at a friend's.  She had one rule:  "DO NOT GO THROUGH MY DRAWERS!"  Okay, easy enough... I'm not a snoop... I mean, unless I like you, then you should not leave me alone in your apartment.  But that's a given, right?  ;)

So one day, I am working on my computer and I need to write directions down.  I open the bedside table instinctually.   That's where I (LAME PERSON OF THE UNIVERSE) keep my pens.  Instead, there are  drawer full of condoms.  And not just one brand... like LOTS OF BRANDS.  Like, does this girl work for a condom company????

And a note resting on them:  "Get your own."  Get your own.  What?  Do I need my own?  Is this something I am supposed to be "outfitted with?"   Get your own.  Pots, pans, toothbrush, body scrub, CONDOMS!!!!

Curse me for being naive.  Curse me for only, mostly, okay, all the time, sleeping with guys I really, really liked so there was some kind of discussion of sex and protection and even the one time, I was with someone and we decided before the date where I really thought it would happen, like ten dates and not eight, we had the most fun, red in our cheeks, racing through the aisles of Rite Aide to get what we needed.

And we giggled like kids, like kids who knew and liked each other and the night felt earned and it didn't have to mean love but it was fun for it to be unexpected and not PLANNED on.  Not saying, "No, it's cool, my Brinks truck of condoms already made it's delivery - down a chute and into my bedside table."

NOT THAT I'M JUDGING.  I am not.  

I went on a date the other night.  A first date.   It was awesome.  It was awesome in that, after having 2 weeks of NY men tell me I'm attractive or beautiful or cute, I showed up with no make-up and little care to how my hair looked.  (His idea for a last minute date).  But still on my mind is:  am I supposed to be prepared if SOMETHING (le sex) is going to happen?  What does that say about me?

I told a guy friend about the condom drawer, he nodded knowingly and said, "Ah, New York girls."  Oh, so this was normal.  For New York girls.  I'm a New York girl.  Should I be THAT girl?

I have never bought condoms in my life.  Weirdly, proud of that fact.  It's not something (le sex) that I thought I had to be prepared for - it never has just "sprung" out at me.  It's not like having an earthquake kit... there's time, right?  But there I was.  

In the Rite Aid "condom" aisle.  They were buy 1, get one 1/2 off.  The bargain shopper in me was whispering in my ear:  "You can't get a deal like this!  Buy... stock up!  It's mix and match!  It's ribbed for your pleasure!"

And I just stood there.  Lubricant?  I don't think I need that.  Fire & Ice... that seems like it would hurt, right?  Are they for older people?  Like "Icy Hot?"  Ribbed.  Really?  Now I could see the pharmacists staring at me.  This is so embarrassing.  

I don't even know if I have my Rite Aid card with me.  

What if they are like, going to make me pay full price but I don't want to pay full price because I DON'T EVEN WANT THESE THINGS IN MY DRAWER anyway.  And then I leave and they all talk about me.  "Too cheap to pay full price for her condoms."  "Sure ran out of here with that Kit Kat real fast."

And then I'm hit by a car and on my gravestone it reads, "Too cheap to pay for full price condoms."  And my mother is crying and wearing that Jackie O. style grieving lace over her Jackie O. pill box hat but it's not because she's sad that I am dead it's because she's ASHAMED to have a daughter that buys her own condoms.  Why else would she hide her face, right?

I leave Rite Aid.  THIS IS NOT ME.  I mean, I want to be new and different and I want to be a NEW YORK girl but I am not QUITE ready to be that New York girl.  I have a date this Wednesday and Thursday.  That is already so "new me" that I don't need to be any other kind of "new" right now.

Any ladies been there?  In the aisle?  Packs in hand?  LOL, I want to hear :)

***

Let's Talk About Sex
The Condom Aisle, Embarrassment for Miles

Adventure Bowl Part 2 Just What Exactly Did I Do To Help Me Start The Life I've Always Wanted?

I will write what I did. It's pretty exciting. It's not ONLY exciting, but it is something ANYONE could do. But I want to tell you the whole story and the whole story is long and the whole story being long, is what often keeps me from putting my butt in a chair and writing about it. And I miss you guys!

So just give me a few days. Yes, I have said that before. But I am hoping once I move this blog over to TUMBLR which supports a format with lots of pictures, videos and short essays, I will be able to keep you up so much easier. I promise.

Keeping up with you all is so important to me. Do not take my absence as anything else but being crazed :)  It's taken me YEARS to get to this good place - emotionally and physically - to a place of not being scared and immobile all the time and I want you guys and gals to feel the rewards. Maybe see (as I'm seeing), CHANGE is not so hard. The biggest roadblock is mental - the games we play in our head, the jibber jabbering we do to talk us out of our loves, dreams, aspirations.

But I don't want to make this post heavy, what I've most wanted to say is just how much fun I'm having in New York.  Okay, so let me tell you about my time in here (all three weeks of it!):

1) Eating way too many bagels! Why do they have to make them sooooo good? I like an Everything with scallion cream cheese and the bagel is sprinkled with a salt-like-substance that I am sure is CRACK! "Bagel World," that's my fav. Then "Smooch" for coffee. Then realizing I will be broke with a huge bagel butt if I keep this up too much longer.

2) The first 2 weeks I lived in a twin bunk bed - top bunk! You can have no shame nor be a diva when you are starting your life over! It made me think of college because I was living with a couple - which meant leaving a lot so they could have "alone time," wink, wink - sex ;)

3) Exploring. Within a week I was known for my legendary 6 hour walks. (The blisters were THE GROSSEST things I had ever seen - like some "Discovery Channel - Medical Abnormalities!" craziness). I would put every thing (hat, sweaters, umbrella, snack) in a back pack and just roam. Now a lot of this was apartment hunting mixed in with personal stubbornness of not wanting to ask for directions. But I love it!  Walking is the best.  Seeing everything seems so new.

4) Kissed a boy a week and 2 days in

5) First week, gallery openings, wine tasting, a party at a vinyl records store, Happy Hour drinks with people I've never met before. Who am I?

6) Grateful feelings that now that I am not fighting so hard (as I was in LA) to make things work MY WAY, that doors are opening here, people are coming into my life, like literally, in the strangest ways. My two new roomies (until I end up in my place Nov. 6) are like best friends; I randomly met someone - she had a loft to rent to me $300 under market value a month; I was lost in Brooklyn, I met a guy who said he was a web site designer - wait, that's exactly what I needed for my new venture! Hanging out in the lobby of my building so my roomies could spend some time... meet some Pratt (design) students who also want to help me with my new venture. Who's life is this?  (Hmmm.... no regrets, but maybe I should have "let go" sooner.)

7) Went on a date with an absolute hottie. I'm going through an identity crisis here. In L.A. I never got asked out. But then again, I don't walk past 200 people a day like you do in NYC. Men here tell you you are "pretty" or "gorgeous." It throws me. Trying to believe it.

8) The crunch of the beautiful fall leaves. Sorry beautiful leaves... I took your bright yellow, golden and orange for granted when I used to live here as a girl. I love your smell. The sound of you beneath my feet. I feel like I am home.

Yesterday was the five year anniversary of my cousin's murder. I started this blog two years after his death when I was so thoroughly depressed that I didn't think I would EVER get out of. I felt lost inside. I felt so sad that I felt cloaked in it as if... it was-- that there was no where out.

I challenged myself - one Adventure a week to get my life back. I did that before his 2nd anniversary - the idea was to respect his memory but living the life he would want me to live. And now, it strikes me PROFOUNDLY that I would make this NEW DARING exciting, life fulfilling dream move before meeting his anniversary again.

I hope you can see me up there, D. I feel you down here, by my side... walking down the cobble stone streets and stomping through the leaves with me. Thank you for helping me look in... to listen, to hear and to act, no matter how scary it felt sometime.

xoxoxox

*****

Adventure Bowl Part 2
Just What Exactly Did I Do To Help Me Start The Life I've Always Wanted?

Adventure Bowl Start doing one thing that is going to lead you to the life you always wanted

This is my new loft in New York!  The former tenant's things are still there but I LOVE IT!  And I love that she is leaving me "good artist energy."  :)

ADVENTURE BOWL is back and more exciting than ever because the last series of ADVENTURES lead me to pack up all my stuff in Los Angeles and move here to NYC.

I currently live in a closet (no, I'm not kidding, I will upload photos later!  LOL) with an awesome young couple in the most exciting city in the world.  In a week and a day, I have been to the Brooklyn Bridge Park, spent three days walking for 6 hours looking for apartments, gone out two nights to a bar/restaurant and made new friends.  Also, went to an art opening, a party at a vinyl records store, RENTED MY OWN APARTMENT!!!!  And... the best, kissed a VERY cute boy.

But now... it's time for a new adventure bowl.  This one I picked TODAY.  I think I know what it means... I think I know what I have to do... I'm going into Soho this afternoon.  I will update all weekend...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and new beginnings.

****

Adventure Bowl
Start doing one thing that is going to lead you to the life you always wanted

Finally Arrived in NYC!

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams."

Ashley Smith

Cooper & Ruby enjoy the view and can't wait until their Mom gets a new camera...

What a crazy trip, two dogs, three huge suitcases but I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER.  Walked Brooklyn Bridget Park and sighed, "Why didn't I do this before?"

But no regrets.  I don't have internet yet but ducked into a cafe to say hi!

Here are some photos - I'll have a digital camera in a few days!

ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

Finally Arrived in NYC!

Guess Who's Moving To NYC?

Me!

I guess these adventures do work.   This was the question I asked my self months ago:  "Could I do little dares, adventures... and THAT putting me in my most happy frame of mind, make the scariest decision of my life - to leave the comfort of Los Angeles for the ultimate adventure - a move to New York City.

The answer is YES.

I just booked my ticket this past Tuesday.

I leave this Tuesday.

Can you believe it?  I hardly can. :)  Yet, I feel so insanely happy, excited, peaceful, certain, hopeful, ready, surprised by my spontanaity.

I keep hearing, "Yes, yes, yes!"

I know I owe you all a blog that explains how this all came to be.

It will be up on Wednesday - it's 24/7 packing until Tuesday!  

I'm sorry I have been so absent but I love you all and I am going to get a digital camera so I can share my new life in New York with you :)

Yes.  Yes.  Yes.

****

Guess Who's Moving To NYC?

Where I Will Now Lead My Life According To The Advice on A Beer Coaster

Over the years... I've gotten a lot of advice.  Of all of it, 3 things stick with me:  A boyfriend telling me I was too nice and available.  God that stung.  It stung up until the day when I realized it was totally and completely true and instead of being wounded by it, I could use it for my benefit.  To fight crime.  No, I'm kidding.  To not be a doormat.  

#2 When this awesome writer J gave advice about being a Hollywood writer (BUT I also APPLY this to LIFE and DATING:  "Never get bitter."  That is the death knell for anyone.  I meet a lot of bitter people out here, so angry for what they don't have that they can't see THEY HAVE EVERY THING.   Men and women friends who are still licking the wounds of past relationships.  (Is there someone you can't get over?  I am an expert in getting people over other people, so let me know in the comments section and I will DAZZLE you with my skills.)

#3 The other bit of advice came... maybe last Christmas.  I was sitting with my cousin M and sister E.  Matt lost his brother... that's the cousin I often refer to.  He also, a year later, lost his best friend.  However, the pulling himself up and dusting himself off, of embracing life and not dwelling in the past IMPRESSES ME of EPIC PROPORTIONS.  EPIC.

He is a great example to me.  After my cousin died he quit his save, cubicle job and said "F this, I'm going to live the life of my dreams."  Maybe he didn't exactly say that, I wasn't there.  I can only guess.

Then there's my sister who I love and I'm afraid of too.  In a funny way.  Because she has a "roar" like no one I have ever seen.  We went to see Cypress Hill (they were opening for the Foos and we wanted to be up front) at this outdoor fest and she saved me from being crushed.  I can just see me falling and about to be crushed and all of a sudden, instead of being 110 pounds, she's like The Hulk, reaching down and yanking me out of abyss.  

She does not take any shit.  She knows where she is going and she doesn't need to turn it over 5,000 different ways, I do.  Does anyone want to go to Thailand?  No?  She goes by herself.   She is NOT a people pleaser.  She will give you THE PEP TALK OF YOUR LIFE but it will contain a lot of profanity and if you don't listen to her very sound advice, she will, when you ask for another pep talk 6 months later, stare at you... through you... until you are running down the street ready to jump in front of oncoming traffic rather than face her wrath.

So these two, my cousin, my sister and I are drinking pitchers of Budweiser and by the time we get to the 6th one, I say:  "Do you guys have any advice for me?  Like your lives are awesome and I just wonder if looking at mine from the outside, maybe you have some advice.

They looked at each other.  They are very close.  I know what they're thinking.  "We could tell you, but we're having fun right now.  And you crying after we tell you everything you are doing wrong, is going to make this LESS of a good time."  

P.S. I read minds.

But I lured them into it.  "Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaase."  I knew they were sufficiently softened up by the 6th pitch of beer.  When my sister started stealing the glasses we were drinking out of, I knew to go in for the kill.  (My sister and I like to steal or get into general mischief making if we are drinking).

So there they were... rattling off advice so fast that I was like, "Wait, wait, I have to write it down!"  So I grabbed some beer coasters and I did just that.  When I got back to LA I stuffed them in my lingiere drawer and just found them.  When I found them, I was gasping and laughing at the same time.  

These coasters.  That night.  Had I lived up to any of it?

HERE WE GO:

0)  (Yes, it starts with zero because later, they decided that there was something more import than 1)  "Money is gay."  My cousin said that.  I think he means, Money is "out" like caring about who is gay or not is "out".  I know, it's confusing.  But what he was trying to say is stop doing things for money and living in financial worry like a hostage instead of pursuing the life YOU WANT.

Score of how I'm doing this:  Hmmm... a 4 but I'm going to try harder.

1)  YOU HAVE TALENT and then in parentheses  it says "36 point font, all caps" - which is sweet, they said that not me.  They want me to believe that.

Score of how I'm doing this:  2... Man, I wish I found these coasters waaaaaaaaaaay before this

2) Stop living in the past.  Yes, they are aware that I relive too many of the nightmares, people in our family dying, getting sick.  But I think I'm doing better with this.  When I was out on that Jet Ski with 2nd best friend, I did this thing that I was too afraid to mention, lest I be thought of as utter

Where I Will Now Lead My Life According To The Advice on A Beer Coaster

Adventure Bowl UPDATED With Sordid, Embarrassing Details Of Getting "Down There" Waxed

Scroll down :) The UPDATE is in purple, below

Good Lord, I cannot believe this was EVEN in the Adventure Bowl.  I am so embarrassed.   No, seriously... I know some people think this is "no big thing."  But for me, I am having a case of the "throw ups" right now thinking about it.

They make you put your legs over your head!  They come at you with hot wax.  Can you get some sort of airborne VD from doing this?  Ugh.  I would have killed to pick sky diving over this.  The ripping and the screaming... I can only imagine THERE WILL BE RIPPING AND SCREAMING!  

I'm just not big on... having "it," you know, my lady bits out there for someone to see.  I cringe at the gynecologist.  My gynecologist once even complimented my vagina in front of an intern and I swear I wanted to run in front of a truck from embarrassment.  

I know that's why I put this in the Adventure Bowl.  Because it is OVERLY WEIRD to be this concerned about getting your "ya know" waxed.  It is.  This is something, we do for ourselves... like a pedicure.  Right?  Right?  (smaller voice)  Right?

So should I prepare in any way?  Should I have a glass of wine?  I would like anesthesia, I will tell you that!  They should provide anesthesia the first time.  And all times after that.

Okay, today is the day I will take my waxing virginity.  If you have any advice or a funny story leave it in the comments.  In the meantime, I will be packing a bag of ice and a bottle of screw top wine. 

UPDATES START HERE:

What is going on with you ladies?  Why did each and every one of you NOT fly immediately fly to Los Angeles to save me from the CRAZY pain that is having your, um, you know AREA waxed????  I would have flown to you.  I would have have chained you to a very HEAVY piece of furniture or better, nailed you by your outfit to the floor.

They yanked EVERYTHING off.  Everything!  And while, I kind of love it... I'm not going to lie, it hurt only 2nd to having my shoulder dislocated.  Maybe not even 2nd, maybe 1st!  Because at least with the shoulder, I was in an ambulance and then soon after they shoved that shoulder back in at the hospital - THERE WERE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF DRUGS.  (And a set of free slippers).

Okay, I'm not going to get graphic (yes I am).  But stuff is fragile down there.  And pouring hot wax all over it and then yanking, the yanking!  Good Lord.  It never stops.  They just keep going, even if you are SCREAMING.  

And there were tears because IT HURT.   But the waxer don't stop.  She just keeps going.  Like they're torturing a POW or something.  Yes, I saw her wry smile.  This was making her day.  She loved me wriggling around all helpless and trying to get away from her.

"You can stop if you like."  No, I would not like.  I mean, I would but I can't think of anything worse than this job only half way done.  And also it was that challenge, like I was a big baby (which I was) and if I'm challenged on something, I can't back down.

My pep talk to myself:  "Okay, Loser, man up.  You got staples in your head with no anesthesia but you can't even-- (YANK!)  Owwwwwwwwwww."  (Tears).

And the worst part... we're supposed to tip these people.  With money.   

So for any of you going to do this, drink a lot of wine, don't wear jeans and know that I'm very "anti-pain" so don't let my experience deter you in any way.   Because you will look pretty and feel sexy in the end.  

But you might also have nightmares for years.  LOL 

****

Adventure Bowl
UPDATED With Sordid, Embarrassing Details Of Getting "Down There" Waxed