Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Adventure Bowl Week 1
Callous Cream is Your Friend

So here's the deal. From now on every week, on a Saturday or a Sunday, I will be doing some fun little adventure in order to get my butt out of bed, give myself a reason to shave my legs, all while connecting with humanity and keeping the ugly depression monster at bay.

This past weekend, I reached into the adventure bowl and pulled out a beauty, "Go get a pedicure." Rock on! For Week One, I needed it to be something simple. Kayaking in Malibu would have sent me under the covers.

Now you're saying, "What kind of adventure is getting a pedicure. Some people do that once a week. Slutty socialites even do it twice a week." Hey, if you have bed sores from being practically ambulatory from a soul crushing depression, an adventure is like, sleeping on a bed that's actually been made in the past week, okay?

Pipe down.

I have only had a pedicure maybe two times in my life. The reason I put it in the adventure bowl was because my feet look "broke down," they are like monkey feet if monkey feet had talons for toe nails. My heels are cracked from be-bopping around town in flip flops. Plus, there was the whole luxury angle, the literal "taking care of me."

I headed over to the pedicure place, grabbed red nail polish a color WHICH I HAVE NEVER USED IN MY LIFE. But these are adventures and adventures beg for adventure toes.

The woman who was doing my pedicure took one look at my toes and feet and put on plastic gloves, a surgical mask and plastic goggles. I half wondered if she was going to ring a bell for a surgical team who would confer and decide it would just be easier to amputate my feet rather than administer a pedicure.

But instead, this woman WENT TO WORK. She had to pull out some sort of power tool that most resembled some sort of circular sander and she power buffed and fluffed my feet while shards of cracked heel went every where. (When she wiped the sweat off her brow, I buried my face in "InStyle" magazine hoping no one was noticing.

She painted my toes the most gorgeous ruby red and I was dazzled. My heels looked beautiful and I felt like a real live girl. I said to her, "Thank you so much, they look so beautiful." She said, "Yes, when you come in, SO GROSS, but now so beautiful." Her frankness almost made me fall out of my chair.

So there you have it. Week One down and so many more to go. What's your adventure? How are you thrilling and surprising and taking care of yourself?

This blog is dedicated to Boston Creme Donuts.