I'm in a serious state of swoon.
Thank you, Adventure Bowl. If you don't know how it all started, how I reached into my Adventure Bowl and pulled out, "Ask A Guy Out on A Date" then go down a few posts and read it all. I thought I would be happy just to go out on a date that night and not be murdered. The fact that I have gone on several MORE dates with someone I like, and like to kiss, is icing on the cake.
Me and my Craigslist List mystery man met at a beer and wine bar near me. I didn't have huge expectations for the night. I don't think I even showered, LOL... beyond showering that morning. I put on makeup, a cute top and perfume but I hadn't felt that "indescribable something" that you want to feel when you see someone's picture in your inbox, so yeah, I didn't want to have all this build up before the date just to be disappointed (if that makes any sense.)
But the second I saw him, shyly peek his head around the corner and meet my glance, I thought, "Oh, shit, I should have showered! He's so cute." And he was. Tall, (6'3), blue eyes, funky glasses, a warm smile. The smile is everything, isn't it? I, of course, was immediately thrown and nervous and spoke a mile a minute about what I knew about the bar and all the different craft beers they had while an inner monologue was running through my head, "Dear God, don't blow it... wow, he smells good. JUST ACT NORMAL!!!!" Smile. "Hi."
He grabbed us some beers and we talked and laughed. And he was funny and sweet and smart and one thing that struck me was he had this beautiful optimism about life and that is something I really want in a person. Soon we were running off to the bar across the street and then the bar across from that. We talked all night long... my time in NYC, his job, his future, he might go back to school, his nieces and nephews, my nephews, my dogs, our dating life.
And then... he brings this up even now, how I reached over and just touched his face. And I don't know what made me do it. I think he was talking about something really personal (he is out of a very long relationship) and he looked a little sad talking about it, how painful it had been for it to end in the way it did and I just think I wanted to comfort him. Something I might not have done had the beer not been flowing but he looked at me, his attention just sort of, took all of me in as if to say, thank you.
I can't explain it.
We kissed but I was conscious of knowing this needs to be taken slow.
So we did.
Our second date was dinner at a nice restaurant. More laughing and talking. Less huge fireworks. Hey, where did all the chemistry go? Perhaps I'm just scared. We kissed goodbye on a street corner and went our separate ways. The next morning, there was an email, he had had so much fun and was looking forward to our next date. Was I available Saturday evening? He already knew the perfect place in mind.
We met there at 6:30pm. At 2:00am we were still talking as the bar closed. Laughing, being silly. Holding hands.
I won't lie. I'm scared. I haven't liked anyone in 3 years. Oh no, maybe 5 years. In this real way. A grown up way.
So there we are. I don't know what will happen. It's sometimes easy and wonderful and other times, I'm quite scared. I don't want to get hurt. I don't have the time! Or the energy! I can't be down again. I can't be let down.
I'm afraid I won't get up.
Yet there are times, too, when all of a sudden, his hand is on my back or his he pulls me in for a hug and I think... just go for it. Stop over analyzing it. Stop trying to break it. Stop trying to end it before it even begins.
So that's where I am. Feeling the reward of taking a crazy chance. Taking an ad out for a man, essentially ordering him up like a pepperoni pizza, LOL, and it being pretty damn great.
I don't know what it will all be. It might just be for right now. Or it might be a lesson in just putting myself out there. But I'll take it.
That's enough for me.
What are you doing to take a chance? It's the new year, you must want to. I swear, if shy ol' me can advertise for a man, you can not only do that, but you can DO ANYTHING you want. What's your adventure? Tell me in the comments!
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