Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Importance of Being Fierce

It's amazing if we open ourselves up, how much we can learn from others. Right now, I am learning so much from a 15 year-old girl who has flown from NYC to Vegas to be with her sister who is very sick with cancer.

This girl is the very definition of fierce. I might even call her ferocious. And I cheer her on and I send encouraging emails and I tell her to kick ass if she needs to.

Because when I was her age, I wish I had done the same. We had just learned my cousin had been in a skiing accident and there was no hope, no sign of brain activity. All I wanted to do was get on a bus and get to him and be able to hold his hand while he was alive and say, "I love you."

But I didn't. I was a good girl and good girls don't stand up for themselves or make foolish requests. My dad and mom were 3,000 miles away while my dad was having a heart transplant and I was living with a different family. I knew I was expected to not make waves or inconvenience anyone, so I stayed quiet. It is always been my greatest regret that I didn't just take a bus to the Greyhound Station and take the three hour trip.

Because even though I would have gotten in trouble, I would have been true to myself.

So, here I am, chatting online with a fifteen year-old, that quite frankly, I find stronger than most people I know. I don't think one person would even think to say "no" to her. She is very scared for her sister, but she still knows what she wants, how she wants her sister cared for and she GOES FOR IT with fierci-osity.

I don't know what the outcome will be. I know her sister through an online community and I am sick with worry everyday, waiting to hear what we may or may not want to know.

But for today, I take this lesson of a girl who is not thinking about being polite, or a "good girl" or just doing what she's told. She will have no regrets in life, because she will always be true to her heart.

I want to be like her. Kind of like I've never wanted to be like anyone. So, just like she is sitting by her sick sister, whispering in her ear healing thoughts and ferocious words of encouragement, I will imagine, she is doing the same for me.

This blog is dedicated to dogs that kiss with tongue.