Wednesday, December 8, 2010

We Don't Have To Explain Ourselves to Anyone

Awesome Comments becomes Awesome Quotes:  The thing is, it actually is too early to know whether you have made a mistake or not. And you know what? Worse case scenerio and it is, so what? You have still had an adventure.

In your heart of hearts though, you know whatever happens you have done the right thing for you now. And that's all that matters. The little niggly voice in your head is fear of the unknown and we all have that. Only listen to it when you really really have to...

Part One

In a week, I will be another year older.  In life though, I'm still trying to figure it all out... 

Last night I was talking to someone and they made a sarcastic remark... about how I had had an "Epiphany" and left for New York.  I felt my stomach tighten and I felt judged.  I did not have an epiphany!  

Except that I did have an epiphany... of sorts.  But the word or maybe the use of the word... knowing it was subtly being used against me or that I was being made fun of... hurt.  Maybe I have a negative connotation with the word - where it means someone going crazy religious, selling all their wares and roaming ashrams and yoga retreats, looking outwardly to fill their starving soul.  Maybe I thought about when my Mom had her nervous breakdown after my cousin's trial and even in her and excuse my language, bat shit crazy state, still knew to warn us, her kids, not to say she had had ANY sort of epiphany.

(I guess having any kind of epiphanies or religious sightings is on the check list to get you to the head of the line for a 5150 - pronto.)

I think it was more, this phone call, the idea of being made fun of... though in some ways, I doubt I was being made fun of.  I think I might have taken something said, somewhat innocently and blown it out of proportion.  But I've let it sit there and I've let it fester.  And I do feel a bit judged about picking up and moving across country and trying to start my life over but maybe the person REALLY judging me is...

... well... me.

Maybe I'm scared this is all rash and crazy (though, I swear, it does not feel rash and crazy... it feels good and right.)

Maybe I don't like feeling misunderstood.  I lined up the facts, I weighed them... I was unhappy in L.A.  I had a yearning to move to NYC but I ignored it for years.  I had a terrible accident and spent A LOT of time in bed... was it an epiphany?  I don't know.  But I could not ignore the thoughts that kept coming to me.

I am not happy.

I don't like the lifestyle here.

People care too much about money and status.

I miss my family.

I'm only here to make money.  Is that all that is important?

Maybe there are OTHER things I love to do but I am keeping the wall up and ignoring them because I am too scared of change.

I don't know, maybe that was an epiphany.  I guess I have to be okay with that, even if someone seems to be throwing the word in my face with their own sarcastic eye roll.  The person is younger than me.  For them, a place like L.A. holds so much more allure and promise.  I have grown out of that - I thank the accident sometimes because without it, I was on another five year plan to stay there and now I get to START my life over NOW, instead of five years from now.

I can get hung up on defending myself or I can just accept me leaving might look like a whole lot of different things to different people and I have to be okay about not be able to control their interpretation of my move... or life change or... oh, god, epiphany.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Adventure Bowl
Join A "Meet-Up"

This Week's ADVENTURE BOWL is "Join A Meet Up." I'm so excited because it's a really perfect thing for a person to do who has just moved to a new city.  Do you know what "Meet Ups" are?  They are fun activities planned around YOUR favorite things to do and they are all listed on  You go to a meet up and instantly have something to talk about with the people you meet because you now have one common interest.

For instance, when I pulled, "Join a Meet Up" I thought about things I like:  Pugs - yes there's a Meet Up for that, Saturday mornings at the park;  Crafting, like making t-shirts or jewelry - yes there's a meet up for that but less chance of boys going; Yoga - with my back injury, not quite ready for that; Digital photography - DING!  DING!  DING!  we have a winner!

I just took the money I saved my sneaking out a week early on my sublet (I told you the couple, only together for THREE WEEKS was fighting all the time?) and put it towards a nice camera.  Now I just have to figure out how to use the camera!

The meet up I'm going to is at the Central Park Zoo in NYC and there are 115 people going!  I'm really excited and yes, a little nervous.  I get shy around new people but I'M THROWING MYSELF IN THERE!

And I hope you do to!  YOUR CHALLENGE:  Join a Meet Up.  Even if you can't go to one of the activities UNTIL after the holidays.  This is YOUR FIRST ADVENTURE!  I hope you feel giddy and excited.  It really becomes life changing to DARE yourself to do things you NEVER dreamed you would.

And this is a perfect, "Dip your toe into "Adventure Bowling" because you can join with a friend if you want.  Now, if you don't have Meet ups around you, try and find an equivalent adventure -  just try SOMETHING NEW!  A yoga class is doing a demo, a wine bar is having a free tasting, go to a nice hotel and take in the Christmas decorations, maybe a store like "JoAnne's" is having a craft night.  

Part of your new life as an Adventurer is not taking "No" for an answer.  So even if there are not Meet Ups in your town, there is no giving up!  Another idea:  host a mini Meet Up at your place!  Go to Etsy or Martha Stewart's website, find an easy craft to make and have the girls over for cider.  See?  DONE!

I want everybody to report back!  What's the new activity YOU want to try in 2011?