Monday, May 26, 2008

Little Miss Baldy Brows

Today I have had endured a devastating loss... of my eye brows. Yes, I had them waxed but I specifically said, "Go easy!" When a girl has a big butt she needs to balance them out with big brows.

I know what you're thinking, "You big diva, you pay someone to do your brows?! Well, then, you deserve it." Let me tell you something, I only learned that there was even an occupation where someone deforested the hair above your eyes five years ago. Before that, I was living in the thicket of brows that most resembled knitted mohair sweaters (Thanks, Dad!)

Besides, is $8 so much to pay for looking well... less hairy? Well, apparently, it's too little to pay to get the job done right. My brows look like they were tended to by a person who was blind in one eye and had glaucoma in the other. I have taken to hiding so forgive me that I owe you a Porsche riding post and another called "The Importance of Naked Jumping Jacks." I'll be back with one of those on Wednesday.

In the meantime, everyone REALLY loved Melanie's contribution in "The Weight of Weight." Any other topics we can throw at her? I'm thinking overbearing mothers, missing your inoppropriate boyfriend, life ruts, boundary issues, weird sex dreams, clutter chaos or daring to date again... anybody, care to help me narrow it down?

I'd love to hear your suggestions!

P.S., I totally stole a "Vogue" magazine from the salon to make up for the hatchett job on my brows. Not really worth it as every women on every page is staring back on me with her non over waxed circus brows.

This blog is dedicated to acceptable stealing.