Thursday, November 1, 2007

Oh, My God! You're So Fat! Congratulations!

I wish someone said that to me. I mean, of course, I would go running into the next room and probably burst into tears and then need to eat three candy bars and a Xanax to feel better. But I wish someone said that to me. Four or five years ago, I lost a lot of weight, maybe sixty pounds. People would see me and exclaim, "Oh, my God, you got so skinny." "Look, at you, you're like half a person." (Really?) My point is, when someone loses weight, everyone has something to say about it. But when we gain it, we just get the "quick up and down" glance and a tight smile.

Two years ago, my cousin passed away... then I lost my job... oh, and my boyfriend and I broke up, then my Mom got sick. I didn't so much start eating everything in sight as I took to my bed and I just stopped moving. Except FOR MY ASS, that was moving, GETTING BIGGER EVERY DAY. But no one said anything. I guess it's not really polite to say, "What's that noise? Oh, it's your thighs rubbing together!" But I wish it was... I mean, I'm a sensitive gal and I would never want to hurt a friend's feelings but if I see one of my friend's ass spread like mine did, or if I start to notice she only has one outfit and it's sweatpants (AND REMEMBER, SWEAT PANTS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND), I'm going to say something. I'm going ask if they are okay.

I'm going to have my pockets stuffed with Hershey kisses and Xanax and approach that tough conversation, "I couldn't help but notice, that you have a double chin and a muffin top is dangerously peeking over your pants, wanna talk?" Because sometimes fat is a sign of something bigger... of someone who can't express they need a helping hand. So be that hand, all you can do is get yelled at. But I would rather be yelled at than thinking one of my friends was suffering and I didn't even approach them with Xanax and candy and a ear to listen.


Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right. We've become a nation of political-correctness ("big is beautiful"). But as a healthcare worker I know well that "obesity likes company" and diseases such as cholesterol, diabetes, even depression, carry far worse consequences than hurting someone's feelings. It's no longer an issue about vanity but also about health-risks.

Anonymous said...

I am really fat right now and do not want to leave my room, want to go to sleep and never wake up again. Pills don't help, barely, therapy is too slow, I am an artist and it used to fill me up and I ould be really successful at it, but hwo really cares ? The gal I love is going thru her own journey and is not able to be really availble for me and I hurt a lot about that. it's just all too, too much. and I am so tired of it all. but it Is nice to see what I feel right now written down here.

adventure grrl said...

Dear Anonymous,
My heart goes out to you. I'm there with you in the fight, fight, fight. That said, I am not an expert or doctor but I know I've seen you on other web sights (wink, wink) so I know you know where to get the real info to get help. But I think the fact that you are reaching out is so amazing. Hang in there! I'm rooting for you and we're all gonna keep each other going :)

blkitalianpride75 said...

What a great post!! I can relate, I have been sick of how I look for a long time, and everytime I start a diet I am good for about a week and then once a slip, just alittle bit I start binging, I cannot stick to anything ans it is sooo depressing, I think about it everyday, about how fat and unattractive I am, but for some reason I CANNOT do anything about it

djwade said...

Sometimes it's the job/life situation... The weight gain is only a symptom.

Have that conversation with your friends.