Thursday, March 6, 2008

"And Then I Started This Blog About Being A Comedy Writer Who Goes Through Depression and Gets A Big Fat Ass... But It's Funny... I Swear"

I love Studio meetings. You only get the meeting if they like what they've read, so already you're going in with people liking you. I like when people like me. And then they ask you questions about your life and you feel like you must be very interesting, like your on a hipper version of "The Charlie Rose Show."

The thing that always comes up is, "How have you been spending your time since your last show?"

"I produced two plays, wrote a spec, an awesome pilot and outlined a second." But I always fantasize about adding this lil' diddy, "But right after the last show, after my cousin was killed and my mom had a nervous breakdown, I mostly laid on the couch with the heat cranked up and the curtains closed. That's even if I've even gotten out of bed and had my breakfast of Doritos and Diet Orange Shasta."

But if you say that, the meeting ends, your sticker pass is abruptly ripped from the blazer you're going to return to Bloomingdales after the meeting and security leads you out and takes note of your license plate so the mistake of letting you on the lot never happens again.

The thing is, now that I have started this blog and gotten tens of thousands of hits, and I hear "the blog is the new and hip thing" and there's nothing better that I like than to be is "the new and hip thing" unless the choice could be, "the new and thin thing," I really REALLY wanna brag about this blog in a meeting.

But sometimes when I start with the story that is impetus for this blog - the murder of my cousin, the losing of my job, then my boyfriend, my mother's nervous breakdown after my cousin's trial all in the course of one year... the room gets really silent.

"I swear though... it's really funny." Crickets, crickets, crickets.

Maybe it could have never seemed funny, ever, even to me. But the reason I wrote this blog was because some of the things that happned were so HILARIOUS, so ABSURD, that I felt like if I didn't write them down, I would not have believed them myself.

For example, my Mom was having her nervous breakdown and it was after midnight. We were afraid if we brought her to the hospital like that they would committ her and it would make her condition worse. My sister and I just looked at each other, trying to come up with a plan, and at the same time said, "Ambien."

So we drugged her. I know I'm laughing! Because it was absurd. A glimpse of human nature of two scared daughters who thought the way to protect their mother was to drug her into sleep so they could catch their breath and come up with a plan.

E took Mom upstairs and I went into the kitchen to check on my Dad. "How are you?" He fingered a can of tuna my sister had brought back from Europe. "This tuna... I won't eat it. I only like tuna packed in water."

That's how he was doing. He was not there.

At the hospital, we brought water, fruit, nuts, magazines and two dozen donuts. It was like we were packing for a road trip. My sister and I went in one car and my father and mother in another. My father dropped my mother, a woman who doesn't, now, even know her date of birth, off in front and parked the car. My mother entered the emergency room and seeing the Au Bon Pain restaurant set up in front, thought she was in Au Bon Pain and left.

We had lost our mother at the hospital. Maybe I'm a bad daughter. I didn't find it funny then, but I do now.

'Cause that's how we heal, when we can laugh about these things. Maybe they're not stories for meetings but they are a hell of a bunch of stories, proving that you can go through hell and come back the other side... and even find some of it, kinda funny.


This blog is dedicated to tuna packed in water.
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7 comments:

Two Date Diva said...

I think the best comedy writer are the one that can find the funny in situations that would send most people over the edge. That's what sets the great ones apart from the masses. Be proud of your blog about crazy absurd things that in hindsight are funny. It makes you human. Not only that, think of all of the people that your blog has helped to see the humor in the more depressing parts of their own lives. Shout it from the roof tops girl!

RadoMom said...

Sorry for being absent for a while! I had a potential scare we were going to have to move to Pittsburgh and I had a little meltdown. Much better now since we don't have to go. I digress..

Humor is human nature! Laughing really is the best medicine. After my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer and they had to remove part of her leg (that's not the funny part), he told her she could apply for a handicap parking pass. We stopped crying long enough to do a WHOOOO HOOOO and a high five for Christmas shopping, then laughed until we started crying again. It was one of the most beautiful moments I shared with my mom. Weird, but true!

Cathy said...

I love this blog! (I know I already told you that at the CSC forum but...) I so get your humor and your ability to laugh at the crazy sh** you have gone through!
If I didn't joke and poke a stick at what I have been through I would probably be drowning in a puddle of tears all the time! lol
Wait a minute...did I just say "puddle"? Wow, I am now even more pathetic! lol
Who drown's in a puddle?

I better stop before you think I have lost it!

:)

GoGo said...

You rock it and you don't stop it. I love this blog!!!!

luckymojo said...

I found your blog through the CSLife forum, and I read all the way from the beginning to this entry. I am just going to comment on this entry and it's subsequent ones , but I just wanted to say that you're blog is witty, inspirational, and a far more eloquent and "cool"-ly (like you, I make up words!) worded version of my subconscious than I could probably ever manage to type it.
I love it. LOVE IT.
Keep on keepin' on, love!

Anonymous said...

I love, love your blog and since I brag about it to everyone I know, you should definitely brag about it to everyone you know. Maybe they are sitting in silence because they are shocked that someone is actually telling the truth about there life.

Elle

adventure grrl said...

TDD - you always have such great comments! Radomom, welcome back, I was wondering where you were! Luckymojo, welcome and thanks for the sweet compliments. Cathy, you know you're my girl :)