Monday, June 2, 2008

Everything I Know About Depression, I Learned From Carrie Bradshaw

Apparently, "Sex & The City" is not just for learning about sex and fantastic shoes! Now in one viewing or less, you too can learn to have the most fabulous depression ever. Just buy a ticket and grab your popcorn, note pad and pen!

Don't have time? Okay, even more fun, let's compare and contrast Carrie Bradshaw's depression in the "SATC" movie to my own.

CARRIE: Gets depressed in a luxurious five star beach front hotel
ME: Gets depressed in a broke down, rent controlled apartment in L.A.

CARRIE: Gets under satiny, 700 thread count sheets to shut out the world
ME: Lays on a threadbare mattress with a sweaty, ten pound Chihuahua. Gave up making the bed six months ago

CARRIE: Takes to her bed in a gorgeous couture caftan
ME: Takes to bed in a hole-y t-shirt that wouldn't be suitable for washing floors

CARRIE: Her golden locks of glossy hair cascade around her, highlighting her despair
ME: My bed-head is 24 hours away from being dread locks

CARRIE: Takes off her thousand dollar sunglasses and stares at herself longingly in the mirror
ME: Please... a really depressed person knows, rule #1 of depression - NEVER LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR

CARRIE: Refuses to eat for days
ME: Alernates between a bag of Doritos or Cheetos as breakfast, lunch and dinner. Only shops at the depression girls' grocery store of choice - 7-11.


People, if depression were that fabulous, there would be no reason to get out of it. So, thank God mine wasn't :)



This blog is dedicated to healing margaritas.
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13 comments:

TwinkleTwinkle said...

Girl, it sounds to me like u need a bit of pampering. go get ur hair done! or go buy a silky caftan. head over to bloomingdales or macy's and buy yourself a pair of strappy sandals. or buy a new fragrance. ok im getting too into this. i think im secretly shopping for myself through you :P

sorry i havent commented in awhile! ive been a tad busy.

i want to see SATC SOOOOO BAD.

thegoodnamesaretaken said...

Having seen the movie, I definitely enjoyed this post :)

Michele said...

Havent seen the movie yet, but I am quite sure I enjoyed this post more than I would enjoy the movie.

Two Date Diva said...

This is great! How is it that Hollywood can make depression look glamorous? I went through a depression a couple of years ago brought on by a BAD reaction to anesthesia. I looked like the chick from the exorcist (complete with projectile vomiting and mood swings).

Cleansing said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE YOU :)

enolan said...

You forgot to mention the long strands of PEARLS depressed Carrie wore to bed on New Year's Eve! (Maybe she was trying to choke herself?)

Although I didn't experience anything quite as horrible as you, or even Carrie, I did go through a depression for the last year, and I dealt with it your style- only for me it was alternating between Doritoes (if I could find an excuse to go to the grocery store) or gummy bears and Cadbury bars from Walgreens (if I could find an excuse to go to the drug store). I've really been enjoying your blog, and trying to take a lot of your (and Melanie's!) advice. Last night I had my first of 20 sessions with a personal trainer, and when she asked me why I was there, I said "I had a bad year. I got depressed, ate junk food and gained a lot of weight". And without judgement, she said "okay, that happens. let's get to work". It felt sooooo freeing to admit to what I'd let happen to myself, and I think this is really going to help get me back on track to feeling as fabulous as Carrie- no, wait, as fabulous as SAMANTHA! This post was great! I still can't wait to hear how the naked jumping jacks went (I did my naked mirror thing this morning, does it still count that I waited until after a big workout?)

Surfergrrl said...

I liked the movie, but at the same time i had a problem with it (you know, the ending). I think that after all she had been through though with big, that reaction seems very plausible.

RadoMom said...

LOVED the movie. Just saw it with best girl friend this weekend and I haven't laughed so hard in a while!
I too can only dream of my depression being that "fabulous".

Cathy said...

What a great post! It made me laugh girl! And this week I have been in my own dam depression and drowning in tears with what happened to my dad.

Thank you for that!

Saw the movie too.....interested in your thoughts minus the spoilers for those who have yet to see it...

Hugs,

Cathy :)

debbiedoesraw said...

Hey girl
I did not get to see SIC yet, but I LOVE king fu Panda.. all I can say is Scheeeduuse!
did you see it?
Matt Monarch (raw dude at large) is giving a talk in LA next week June 14th. I am going.. are you?
Deb

Jen said...

When I saw the movie, I was thinking along those same lines honey. You were not alone on that one :)

adventure grrl said...

Yes! Strands of pearls! During my depression, I totally forgot to take to bed in a luxurious strand of pearls. What's wrong with me?!

I'm so glad you liked the post! Your comments all made me laugh.

GoGo said...

I had to send this to all my friends, such an awesome post!