Monday, May 26, 2008

Little Miss Baldy Brows

Today I have had endured a devastating loss... of my eye brows. Yes, I had them waxed but I specifically said, "Go easy!" When a girl has a big butt she needs to balance them out with big brows.

I know what you're thinking, "You big diva, you pay someone to do your brows?! Well, then, you deserve it." Let me tell you something, I only learned that there was even an occupation where someone deforested the hair above your eyes five years ago. Before that, I was living in the thicket of brows that most resembled knitted mohair sweaters (Thanks, Dad!)

Besides, is $8 so much to pay for looking well... less hairy? Well, apparently, it's too little to pay to get the job done right. My brows look like they were tended to by a person who was blind in one eye and had glaucoma in the other. I have taken to hiding so forgive me that I owe you a Porsche riding post and another called "The Importance of Naked Jumping Jacks." I'll be back with one of those on Wednesday.

In the meantime, everyone REALLY loved Melanie's contribution in "The Weight of Weight." Any other topics we can throw at her? I'm thinking overbearing mothers, missing your inoppropriate boyfriend, life ruts, boundary issues, weird sex dreams, clutter chaos or daring to date again... anybody, care to help me narrow it down?

I'd love to hear your suggestions!

P.S., I totally stole a "Vogue" magazine from the salon to make up for the hatchett job on my brows. Not really worth it as every women on every page is staring back on me with her non over waxed circus brows.

This blog is dedicated to acceptable stealing.



Anonymous said...

My suggestion right now is to get yourself to a Sephora! Find this product by Anastasia:

An experienced Sephora Salesperson can show you how to use this wonder-product. I just bought it for my mother, whose brows are disappearing with old age. It's completely natural looking, so no worries about evil-looking drawn-on eyebrows!

Anonymous said...

Dear Adventure Grrl,
You know I love you, and normally I would sympathize with you for your overplucked eyebrows, but it is better than eye herpes!

Your brows will grow back in no time. Sorry for the lack of sympathy.


the glitter kid said...

My mom is a big fan of eyebrow waxing but I had it done once and it was a bit of a disaster. Think: red, bleeding skin. Ouch! For now, I'm content to pluck them on my own.

I can't wait to hear about your test drive!

Searching for THE ONE said...

What the heck are eye herpes?

I get my brows done all the time. nothing wrong with paying for pampering. Although maybe ripping hair out by the roots is not pampering.

Surfergrrl said...

They say that brow waxing is the cheapest instant face lift. I had a bad experience once where she nearly burned my eylids off...right before i went to hawaii. Thankfully it healed. ha ha.

Two Date Diva said...

I vote for weird sex dreams, not that I have any,, just sounded interesting. I am crawling back under the rock now......

TwinkleTwinkle said...

how about "how to get ur boyfriend to stop being a lazy useless ass and get him to buy u flowers for once, or hey, maybe an engagement ring?"

phew. im having some issues :P

adventure grrl said...

Searching For The One - I think you get "eye herpes" from watching too much reality TV like, "Flavor of Love" or the "Real World." Hee hee.

Thanks for all your awesome suggestions. I was thinking hair transplant for my brows but all your ideas are so much better.

Mili said...

I'm all for a "why you still miss/want back the guy that you and everyone else in the world knows wasn't right for you anyway" post.

Anonymous said...

I hardly have brows to begin with ... they are slightly "hitler-esque" in that they only grow half way. I use a brow brush and eyeshadow every day to create my own eyebrows. I have severe and extreme brow envy because of this ... And, I got my stuff from Sephora, too - great idea Melly.

Best of luck with the brows.