Sunday, August 15, 2010

The MOST AWESOME Pep Talk of OUR LIVES!


I'm about to dump some sparkle on you people. With my awesome sparkle gun.

This is something I wanted to write when I was back East. Somehow I was amazed to be between the beginning of life and the end of it. My nephews, God they are gems. I would lay with them at night and tell them stories about 94 foot crabs that emerged from the ocean and were coming to seek vengeance on said nephews for burying them in the sand.

Instead of being afraid of this genius horror story, they expressed doubt. The doubt of a 94 foot crab going unnoticed while it terrorized a neighborhood. "Auntie, I don't get how someone wouldn't see the crab and call the police. Your story does not make sense." And I'm all like, "It's a bedtime story! Dear Lord! Here's the deal, the neighbors have "Lazy American" syndrome, they have all eaten Pasta Alfredo and passed out in front of their TVs....

Okay, let's get back to the part where the killer crab crushes you in his claw."

Man, I love being an aunt. With them, I was feeling like... they're so lucky, they can be ANYTHING they want to be. Your only job in life is to make your kid feel LIKE SHE/HE CAN DO ANYTHING. I never got that in my family but my Mom was kinda busy raising three kids while her husband was dying of congestive heart failure.

So I'll give her a pass. Because while back East, I figured out how to give myself awesome peps talks. (That's coming up, it's down there in BOLD.)

The point is... I will be in my nephews corner and I will be pep talking the shizzzzzz outta these kids. That's the deal. I'm there for them. For life. Assuaging every doubt and fear they could ever have.

I want them to not make the same mistakes as me. 1) Not traveling like I said I would. 2) Taking jobs out of fear - in my case it was financial fear ingrained in me since child hood 3) Working so hard that I missed out on life and reneged on promises - I've missed dates, family vacations, hanging out with friends, vacations with boyfriends, birthday parties, regular parties, going to see bands, JET SKIING. Oh, and when Jeffrey Dean Morgan asked me to lunch at Fed Ex Kinkos, I said no... I was working. (I know, I know!)

I don't want my nephews to miss out on life's joys like I did.

4) Spending too much time getting over relationships. So stupid. How can you (me) like anyone who doesn't like you (me) back? Why miss that person? My friend once said, "Your ex-boyfriend is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about your last boyfriend." "But I'm not thinking about him." "EXACTLY." 5) Mourning my cousin too much. The one who passed away when I was 14. It's like, I've let sadness coarse through me and I will not lie, it's certainly done more harm than good. It makes you not want to get close to people. I can remember a guy friend saying to me at 22, "You make loving you very difficult."

That was not my intention. I just never wanted anything to happen to him and not have pre-protected myself.

When you think of everything you (me) did wrong you (me) feel kind of melancholy like "Man, I kind of suck."

But then I went to visit my Uncle. This was someone at the end of their life. He was in a hospital bed in his home. He said to me, "I would very much like to go home right now." That's when I cried. That's when I felt... not like the self that walked through the door.

The self that thought only little kids have their lives ahead of them and only they CAN DO ANYTHING THEY WANT TO. I can, we all can. I have many, many, many years ahead of me. I mean, this should be very obvious but somehow I felt like it was deeply profound.

This is the sparkle people. Maybe you already know this. Then you are awesome. But now I see, I just have to change the things that I thought I had no time to change. The pep talks I give my nephews... I can give to myself. None of us is in a state they can't get out of. It takes work. It takes being "Queen of the Bounce Back."

That's when you shrug off things that are not worth it. What is your fear, insecurity, grief, disappointments, tendency to beat yourself up, having regrets about men/career - what is that giving you back?

Maybe it's making you so frickin' weighed down, you can't make a move. Maybe that's where you feel safest.

So here's what I believe: You can just quit all the behaviors you dislike, that are not working, that will make you have regrets in the future. First, you have to write them all down. Then a plan on how you can realistically change them. (I'll be doing mine for the list above.)

And that is the awesome pep talk. That you can give yourself your own PEP TALK.

For today, mine would be: "Girl, look at you. Your hair is looking fly today. I know your feeling nervous about a big meeting coming up because this is the company you WANT to be in business with but think about it like this: THEY SHOULD BE NERVOUS about you. You're going in there with something really great and if they don't like it, three companies already want to meet with you about it. Your worth is not measured by whether a project sells or not. And PS, pivot when you walk and know your talent is carved by diamonds. Sparkle out!"

Still having trouble? Okay, think of someone you love and would do anything for - now think of yourself that way. Now give yourself the pep talk like you love yourself like you love that other person.

Is this not mind blowing?

Sorry, I'm HIGH on the sparkle.

Okay, I want to hear, even anonymously, THE PEP TALK you would give yourself RIGHT NOW today. Put it in the comments section, beautifuls.

And if you like this post or think it will help someone, please link it to Twitter or Facebook. xoxoxo


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21 comments:

Tara said...

LOVE THIS! Need to hear it!

Operation ME said...

I wish someone gave me the pep talk your talking about!
like you so many dreams but somehow, something got in the way!

Quinn said...

One thing I would change about myself: Stop procrastinating!
I am a horrible procrastinator, I just find excuses NOT to do something. I just need to DO IT.

Natasha said...

I would stop beating myself up about my weight. What a waste of time. I want that time back. I love the way you make me think. Thank you.

Freestyle Mom said...

Wow. Where do i even start.

Erin said...

Stop being so afraid of what people think about you and just go for it! You have been given an amazing opportunity and yes it will be hard, yes it is scary, and yes it will require you to stop being so shy and get some damn confidence but you have been quiet and forgotten about for too long. You have valuable things to say so SAY them. It's the only way people will listen. Fear is just fear, you can overcome it. Don't let an opportunity like this go to waste, you will regret it for the rest of your life!

And don't stick with law just because others expect you to. You know you're hating the stuff, so again, stop worrying about what they think and find something that makes you happy. I know you're unsure of what that is but don't take the easy route and just stick with law cos you can't find anything. You are better than that and will regret not changing your degree now when you end up in a job you hate! So to he'll with everyone else, do what you enjoy!

Oh and give yourself some damn credit sometimes! You are always so negative about yourself and you never feel good enough but the fact is you have accomplished some amazing things despite all of the shit you've been through. It is okay to acknowledge that and to praise yourself every once in awhile. Do it more often!

That's my peptalk. Now I'm gonna get out of bed and go live my day, all sparkly and pumped! Thanks for the inspiration as usual. :)

adventure grrl said...

Erin, your pep talk to yourself rocks my world.

SNAP! That's how it's done!

EtsyGirl said...

I'm going to write mine privately to myself. Stick it on my mirror and then when I'm ready, share it with you all. Love your writing.

Kendra said...

Love your writing and love this idea. It's also good to see you are "The Queen of the Bounce Back." We need you here!

Nikki said...

LOVE.

Damn girl, you sassy! Step aside, ex-boyfriend or anybody else who tries to mess with this bitch - she will cut you! (...with words.) Everybody you know is living vicariously through YOU. That's how balls-out brilliant your life is! Scared? Fuck scared!! So you don't know what'll happen next week - NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE! They just think they do! Keep your cool, wait until it's time to make a move - and you'll know it - and then BAM! Knock their socks off. You know you got it in you. Hell yeah, girl, dance it out.

(I don't know why my pep talk is a loud black lady but I love her.) :)

Quix said...

Oooh I love this! Ok, here we go, winding up the sparkle...and...

"Woman, you are looking particularly cute today. Ignore the scale, it's just water weight. You are going to rock this day, even if your mouth is half numb from the crown from the dentist. The tired you feel will go away when it needs to, and today will be mellow and you will ROCK the open water swim tonight and after that, you'll have done EVERY DAMN THING that's been important to do for the triathlon this weekend and you are going to rock that too. Maybe even get an effing medal of some sort because you're so damn awesome. Sparkle on!!!!"

...hehe you're right, that felt good. Now to go do something about all that sparkle I feel. :)

adventure grrl said...

Nikki and Quix - HILARIOUS, POIGNANT and touching. You get 5 stars, you blow me away!

From Nikki's pep talk to herself: "Keep your cool, wait until it's time to make a move - and you'll know it - and then BAM! Knock their socks off. You know you got it in you. Hell yeah, girl, dance it out."

From Quix's pep talk something we all need to hear: "Woman, you are looking particularly cute today. Ignore the scale, it's just water weight. You are going to rock this day!"

AWESOME!

From Erin's pep talk to herself: "Stop being so afraid of what people think about you and just go for it! You have been given an amazing opportunity and yes it will be hard, yes it is scary, and yes it will require you to stop being so shy and get some damn confidence but you have been quiet and forgotten about for too long."

WOW, you ladies rock.

Anonymous said...

Fabulous! So doing this. You're writing is so inspiring.

-Morgan

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THE CANDY MONSTER said...

I like the pep talk! Why is it that the simple truths in life are the most easily forgotten? Lovely post!

Moll-ster said...

This is amazing. I need to do this every day! I think it's better than a gratitude journal - you always just say the same stuff. This makes you have to take action. Love it!

Anonymous said...

Mine would be: "You can knock this interview out of the park. You know all the info in and out, you're the best candidate. Just remember all your awesome qualities. I know you get nervous about interviews and having to prove yourself. Instead, make them prove themselves. Be confident, funny, engaging. And don't forget to smile!"

THNAK YOU!

~Ashley

Ali said...

Hey cutie! I wish you would stop feeling such low self esteem all the time and realize that you are an amazing person. Love is all around you if you could just chill out and let it in. You are fantastic! Everybody loves you, you just need to love yourself. Keep practicing - you are doing a great job!

dreamgypsie said...

I love this idea! I went to see Eat Pray Love with my besties and they reminded me of a part in the book that I forgot about. Where she writes letters to herself. I love that idea of talking to yourself giving yourself motivation and pep talks and treating yourself with kindness.
On a side note you said no to Jeffrey Dean Morgan...crazazay!

Taylor said...

love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love...

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

Stop being afraid of change. Life is going to change and change is almost always for the better. If it is a bad change, well it will make you stronger. Just GO to the gym, you are going to feel so much better after you get back and DAMMIT you are working hard! you are going to look great and the lbs are going to fly off faster that you think. Dont worry about what you look like now, no one out there knows who you are and what you are trying to accomplish. if anyone is judging you, FUCK THEM, i dont see them working so hard.

oh yea and getting outta bed earlier couldnt hurt :P

:)