Two years ago, I had it all. An amazing job, a great boyfriend and a stable, wonderful family. Then my cousin died, my job went away, my boyfriend and I broke up and my Mom had a break down. This is my true story of how I went from having it all to having nothing at all. And this is my journey out - ONE FUN ADVENTURE at a time until I find my way back to me. 'Cause, after spending over 100 days in bed, I've realized, I don't want to live that way anymore.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
An Amazing, Enlightening and A Little Bit Frightening New Year's Eve Dream
When you are in therapy, dreams mean everything. Once I had a dream that I was running away from wolves and masked men dressed in black. In the dream, I find a little girl. I grab her by the hand and at every threat, I SAVE HER. When I tell this to my shrink she says, "You know that little girl is you."
This is profound to me... that I am strong enough to save myself.
Now, I'm not in therapy but LAST NIGHT, New Year's Eve Night, I have this amazing dream that I feel WILL BE SOMEWHAT LIFE CHANGING. Here it is:
I dream I am doing laundry. I unscrew the top of the detergent and there are two stickers around the spout. One says something like, "Will not take tough stains out." I'm upset, I NEED MY TOUGH STAINS TAKEN OUT!!!
The other sticker says, "The help you give to other people will be your legacy." In the dream I smile, a smile so BIG & BRIGHT it wakes me and I realize, I SMILED MYSELF AWAKE. I have this feeling like, now I have NOT only found my PURPOSE but that their is some greater EXPECTATION of me. And it thrills me and scares me at the same time.
But mostly, I feel this RELIEF that now I know what to do with my life even IF I still have to figure out how.
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7 comments:
The help you give to other people will be your legacy.
I really like that. I have been "struggling" to stay positive about my job latley but I know it's what i'm supposed to do, i'm just in a little bump in the road. I read that and it just put a smile on my face.
Your reason is all of us. Thank You.
What a great dream! Since I'm one of your "helpee's" I'd say it's right on.
My last dream consisted of my old bad boyfriend who constantly haunts my subconscious. I need an exorcism....
Happy new year and as my favorite neighbor says...
"Good luck with your troubles in 2008!"
Thanks for all of your comments. Once I am back in California, I am going to start posting once a week about a charity people can donate to. It will be easy - like take your magazines to a dialysis center or a hospital or a coat you don't wear to a women's shelter. I think WE ALL WANT TO DO SOMETHING, sometimes, it just feels soooo overwhelming. But maybe we can inspire and challenge each other.
Angie, what job do you have? Anonymous, I always love your comments, put a fake name here so I always know it's you. I dig everything you say.
Radomom, I love it! You're my helpee! I've never had that and I TREASURE IT!
I found your blog through the comments you've been leaving on the self magazine forums. ...And I'm blown away by your writing! I think this might be the first blog I regularly check in with that's not written by a celebrity.
Anonymous... YOU JUST MADE MY WEEK, My Month, My Year, My Life. What an awesome, sweet thing to say.
I love your writing !It sucks me in!:):) Your sister sounds awesome!
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