Thursday, August 7, 2008

Blogging: I'm Still Waiting For It To Shrink the Size of My Ass

Blogging has had so many positives in my life. But I'm still waiting for a time when I can say, I'm so much better, that I've lost the extra ass I gained two years ago.

People often want to know about this crazy thing called the Adventure Bowl and what it's done for me. To me, it's not just about pool hopping or riding roller coasters - it's about harnessing the strength you get when you do things you fear and apply them to other things.

For instance, feeling really strong has made me stop all contact with a very bad boyfriend. Staying in touch with jerks is for weak girls and I'm not a weak girl anymore.

There's other ways I see myself stand up for myself, too. There was this guy who came careening down my street, obviously using it as a cut through, and boxed me like a skunk in so I could not drive by. When I wouldn't back up so he could get by, he did everything from throw a newspaper at my car to a cup of coffee.

I would not back down. It might have been an over reaction, taking all the times I was just too nice and rolled over, but now risking that he was going to drag me out of my car and teach me some manners.

Instead I held my ground, totally feeling the adrenaline rush. He sized up a way to get passed me but over calculated the space and hit my car. I could hear the side of his car smooshing in... and it made me laugh.

He whizzed past me and I jumped out of my car to see... no damage to my Jeep. He had hit the big rubber side, just over the wheel.

AND I FELT AWESOME.

Is that wrong?

In my family, I have been raised to be the quintessential good girl. But where has being sweet and polite gotten me?

I feel sorry for me, for that good girl, but that girl doesn't really exist anymore and it's partly due to this blog, to the adventures that I do. Maybe other people want to buy 100 self-help books that they never put into action.

I don't. I don't need them. I have my own way.

Millions of people bought "Eat, Pray, Love" hoping they could be inspired to turn their lives around. I did, too. The problem is, how many of us can take a year off and travel the world? Will your job be waiting for you? Do you have the money that it takes?

But one thing I loved about "EPL" was, at the core of the book, it was about TAKING ACTION.

Looking at what you have and realizing it's not working for you anymore and then doing something about it. Seeing your life (which seemingly looks perfect) has gotten off track and then... building a new track, a new where to go.

So I have to ask, how many of you feel like your life has gotten off track? How did you know and what do you do about it?


This blog is dedicated to dancing in your underwear.
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23 comments:

Lily-kins said...

I thought I was the only one who felt that way about "Eat, Pray, Love" - I was like, "Are you kidding me??? Who can afford this??"

That's why I love your blog - same thing and it's free. :)

GoGo said...

I love your blog - it's funny how people always have something to say - they only need to read your blog to see you have become a completely different person since you started. Keep at it!

It's better than a trip around the world anyday.

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

i often feel like my life has gotten off track. i know that life is different from highschool, me being a junior in college now, but i feel that back in highschool i really knew who i was. i was still insecure about the way i looked but i didnt let it stop me. since gaining 30 lbs, i feel like ive lost all sort of identity. i dont dress the same, i dont have the same friends, i dont go out in my old town anymore because im afraid i might see someone from highschool and have they tell everyone how FAT ive gotten.

but what ive really done is sat myself down and asked myself 'what would make me happy? what can i do right here and now to make myself happier?' so i got a bunny. lol. seriously. someone that i need to take care of, someone to love me for me.

and in the meantime i am turning myself around, getting better grades, making new friends, reading more, and also working out and eating right. i know that once i feel better about the way i look ill find out who i am right now.

i dont want to be ashamed to go to my favorite places or to go shopping at the mall. i shouldnt be ashamed to wear my favorite clothes.

so yea. lol. sorry that was long. your blog inspired me.

Jasmine said...

I'm only 24 and I feel like my life has gotten off track. I took the first job that came to me and I've advanced at a career that I don't even want.

I feel like my life belongs to someone else, I just have to do something about it before it all gets so far away from me.

I loved this post by the way...

MJ said...

Whwn did I know my life got off track? I didn't... maybe until now. It's been more that feeling that something isn't right as I get in deeper to a life that I don't really want. Ugh. What to do about it? Be glad I'm having this realization at 28 rather than 58, I guess.

GoGo said...

I also feel like I've gotten off track. It's hard once you start working to ever feel like you can take a chance and do anything else. And my Monday - Fri. leaves me so burnt - I just feel like a work robot who desperately wants something to change.

Ack!

Anonymous said...

thanks i hadn't got around to reading eat love pray and now i know i don't need to, I'll just stick with your blog. I just discovered it recently and I think its great. Your entry on the cost of depression really struck a chord with me (been there done that still digging my way out). i hope you keep on getting better and better. not everything can be turned around at once. working hard at not being depressed and LIVING and working hard at not having a fat ass, are two different time and brainspace consuming things. anyway all the best from me to you!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog...check out my blog at http://www.danishgirlinthedominicanrepublic.blogspot.com/

thegoodnamesaretaken said...

I definitely felt like my life got off track, especially this past year. I don't know that I'm back on track yet but things are certainly moving along at a faster pace than they were. A fair amount of therapy and patience were involved as well as a good dose of persistence. An Adventure Bowl sounds like a good idea too though. Keep up the good work :)

Krista Lou Cook said...

Hey, I found you on The Sisterhood Book blog. I look forward to reading more form ya!

Anonymous said...

How do you get your life on track? On Jan. 1st, this was going to be the "year for me"...meaning I would take time to workout, relax, do what I want. YEAH right??? I have 1 child, 3 step children and work over full time managing a busy ER. Some days I stop and ask myself, "how do I change?" How do you change? I have gained 50#, I feel ugly, tired....alwasy tired and the antidepressant I tried does not help. I am not depressed, I am tired of felling icky!!

Michelle J said...

Great post!!! I can so relate to this life getting off track stuff. For me, i just hop back on the train and keep going!!!

It's step up and on, or step off!!!

Anonymous said...

what a great blog. I agree that it's as good as, if not better, gelato for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and making out with trees in India (i have read EPL a few times... lol). I really liked what you said about always feeling like the good girl and never putting a toe out of line, but that sometimes that isn't that great for you.
here's to dancing in your underwear :D

cl-pooh1972 said...

For 2 years, my life has been stuck on the track. I had to quit my job and take care of my family. Now that my life is my own, I'm sitting at the fork in the road.

One job offer, that I don't really want, and another job that I HOPE to get.

Your blog is what keeps me laughing when I don't think I can go on.

adventure grrl said...

Hey Everyone!
This entry got such an amazing response and I just want to let you guys know what you're going through.

I'm going to write my next entry on things that have helped me get my life back on track and things I continue to do.

TWINKLETWINKLE - good for you. After my cousin died, I got a puppy. It was a total leap of faith - I was barely taking care of myself, how could I take care of him? But it's been amazing. He rocks.

ANONYMOUS#1 - Thank you, your comment really touched me. Sometimes I think I say waaaaay too much but knowing it helps people makes me know it's cool to do that.

JASMINE, MJ, GOGO, LILY-KINS, Thanks for your comments. Everything your saying I have felt.

THEGOODNAMESARETAKEN - Yay on persistence, Patience and Therapy. I capped 'em, cuz they're so good!

KRISTENLOUCOOK - Welcome girl! We love newbies.

Michelle J - Love your attitude.

ANONYMOUS #2 - Another good girl! We'll be bad girls soon enough :)

CL-POOH1972 - Let us know about that job. I'm pulling for you. I took time off to take care of my Mom - I know how hard it can be to jump back in the work force, "Yay, I'm here. Can I please have an awesome job please?" Keep the faith, I'm pulling for you.

forgetfulone said...

I tagged you for a meme on my blog if you feel like participating.

haminjuly said...

Have you tried typing with your ass? I'm betting this would be a wonderful and amusing workout ROFL!!!

Seriously though I think all of our lives get off track every once in a while. It's facing it and taking action like you said. Sometimes you have to take two steps backwards to take one big step forward!!

Skye said...

So inspired by you I planned a Magic Mountain day with a few friends. It totally gave me the sense of release, fun, and freedom I needed to face my job which has been weighing on me. And come today, Monday, as it turns out boy did I need that swift reminder to stand up for myself and not put up with bullshit. I am doing some serious self searching and reassessing to discover what is best for me and my career. So thank you. You're inspiring.

adventure grrl said...

Skye - Your comment means so much to me and is TOTALLY why I do this blog. Keep standing up for yourself and keep kicking ass!

Hannah said...

I feel like you wrote this blog entry just for me. My life is so off track, it's off the rails. Sigh. I'm only 26 but I'm so not happy where my life is and I guess, afraid to do anything about it. But I know I have to. Your blog is just what I needed.

Quix said...

Hi, I'm new (but did the full reading of the archives). Love your writing, and you are totally crazy in a great way! This totally touched me as I am hitting a crossroads too. I gained a bunch of weight and found a career I loved where it didn't matter (video game production). Now, I've lost the weight and think "what if" I hadn't abandoned all those other dreams I had. It doesn't help that my current job, while easy on the hours and pays better, isn't nearly as fulfilling as the last one. What's a girl to do when she's not even sure what she wants? *sigh*

Alex said...

My life is currently really off track.

I'm just now picking up the pieces. So I'm going with you I suppose on this journey to get on track and change myself.

INSURANCE said...

Wow nice one...i like it....