Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My Inner Diet Devil Thinks Cookies And Ice Cream Would Make A Great Breakfast


Do you have an inner Diet Devil?

It's that voice inside your head as you're preparing a "good girl" meal of grilled chicken and steamed broccoli that starts off with a quiet whisper and then starts screaming:

"I WANT FRENCH FRIES NOW! And while you're at it, get a Big Mac to go with those fries. Ooooo, we need dessert, too! Bring pie!"

Yeah, that guy. I hate that guy. He's trying to sabotage me and won't be happy until I spend the rest of my life in pants that only close with draw strings and "Free Size" shirts.

And that's not a way to live, ladies!

Here's the deal. This whole blog has been about taking back my life from, um, well, the brink of "almost-disaster." Now work is good, finances are decent, friendships are repaired, new therapist is found, healing over the loss of my cousin/job/boyfriend has begun...

But I still have "big ol' fat depression butt."

So last month, I got serious. I started making a healthy breakfast. At breakfast, I planned lunch, at lunch I planned dinner. When things got so stressful and planning seemed to go out the window - I had a Backup-plan Plan. Defrost a frozen vegetable and dump a Lean Cuisine over it.

Lean Cuisine has, like, totally saved my life.

Every meal is paired with a huge serving of fruit or a veggie. The more full I am, the less I'm inclined to fantasize about shoplifting a bag of Ruffles potato chips from the 7-11 so the cashier won't judge me.

In 30 days, I lost 11 pounds.

Oh, did I mention exercise? Because that's a big part of it, though I have started off slow, just going to the gym 3 times a week for ONLY 45 minutes. I cap the "only" because I am stressing the point that I am trying to make this as easy on myself as possible so I won't find excuses not to do it.

But that's really when the Diet Devil is whispering in my ear. He knows that exercise is going to be the biggest piece of my weight loss pie (Mmmmmm, pie).

And he doesn't want me to go! He wants me to stay right here, chit-chatting on the internet or watching "Oprah."

Diet Devil: "Don't work out. Stay home, lie on the couch. Go ahead, put your feet up, you deserve it. Oprah is on. She's going to teach you how to be a better person. Isn't that going to benefit you more in the long run over riding some silly treadmill?"

Me: (small voice) "Um... I don't know."

So I started this post on Wednesday with the hopes that I would have a fantastic update about how I wrestled my Diet Devil and came out victorious with a trip to the gym. But it didn't happen. I talked myself out of going and then I let that be okay.

Not cool.

So today, Thursday, which isn't a gym day for me, I got my butt over to the gym and did what I needed to do. I don't want to fail myself. I have an uphill battle but the goal of 45 minutes 3 times a week is so small for what it gives back to me - it's physically, mentally and emotionally rewarding.

And if it'll make my jeans looser in the process - all the better!

The thing I have to remember is - it's just the getting there that's hard. Once I'm there, I really have to push myself to leave. I love the sweating and I love the feeling of getting stronger.

But mostly, I love setting out to do something and following through.

So what gets you to keep a promise to yourself? What do you do when you want to talk yourself out of going to the gym or eating right? I'd love to know. Then I can use it to beat that lil' Diet Devil off my shoulder the next time he's trying to keep me from going to the gym :)


This blog is dedicated to 8 pound weights.

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17 comments:

noley said...

Regarding this Oprah madness... I used to deal with the same hurdle everday. Tying on my sneakers just about to go to the gym then suddenly something riveting that I just couldn't miss was on TV so all my eliptical intentions went out the window.

DVR/TIVO has saved my life! Just hit record then go and while at the gym, look forward to watching it when I get back. Like a reward for working out...to go along with my reward glass of wine. What's better than that?

Good luck! =)

adventure grrl said...

Noley... I LOVE the expression, "... all my elliptical intentions went out the window." Hee hee. Very cute AND real! Good idea about the DVR :)

Jessica said...

Ughhh, I feel the same way.

I am just getting over a bad break-up, and now need to lose the depression lbs so I can feel hot again.

However, I am extremely busy and lazy and when I get hungry I dont want veggies. I want chips! So what's a girl to do?

Anonymous said...

you described the inner diet devil very well, i also have a depression butt (gained weight b/c of depression & anxiety), great blog and hope we both lose the weight and the depression

again, ur blog is fun!

cindy in berkeley, ca

saveyoursoul said...

I freaking love the way you write first off

and stupid diet devil. I try to incorporate easy things because my diet attempts have been so random and useless..things as little as replacing the computer chair with an exercise ball which requires me to not only hold myself up but get better posture. hooray!

saveyoursoul said...

How cool would it be to be a bounty hunter for an exercise program? haha.

Thats the evil inside of me speaking...woops.

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

What I do (ahem...sometimes) is I go and look at the TV program guide and I pick out a show I really want to watch. Then I go to the gym, where most of them have tv's am i right? and then i just watch that show while im on the elliptical/tredmill/bike. so u can plan when ur going because otherwise ud just be sitting in the lay-z-boy. and this way you wont be neglecting your mind nor ur body!!

XOXO

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

ok for ur update. now im seriously horrible about going to the gym, BUT i just found out that ive been exposed to mold for 6 months now and my health is deteriorating, and a good reason that i dont go to the gym is because I CANT BREATHE.

but anywho. honestly, ur blog really inspires me. because i sit here and think, u know she really is right, it is such a good feeling to leave there feeling accomplished. i guess what i would do is to really just think about how good ur going to feel afterwards. and reward urself. paint ur nails or take a bath or something thats pampering. drink 1% chocolate milk! mmm

thanks for making me smile :)
XOXO

Surfergrrl said...

you know i think for me at a certain point, not working out/eating right became more of the drag then doing the opposite. Not doing those those makes me feel bad. and I don't like to feel bad. but I think that transition takes time, but once it does it just becomes routine. Would you not brush your teeth for four days? that would be gross, right? that's how I feel if I don't work out.

theneatos said...

Pumpkin pie makes the most scrum-delicious breakfast! Mmmm ... pie.

Seriously though, the best way I have found to stick to eating well / exercise? Has been to have a motivated person near me, and we inspired each other.

Good luck - keep kickin ass!

saveyoursoul said...

you're making me feel like going to the gym

thats impressive.

Anonymous said...

OK, so maybe this isn't going to work for this year but! My motivation for losing weight is to be the hot chick on Halloween. I'm not about skanky outfits 24/7, but I feel like a HOTT costume on Halloween would be a sweet reward for all the hard work at the gym. :) - KG

JessaPoppy said...

I've been on my "health journey" for 10 months now (-42 pounds). However, my "diet devil" was extra bad this weekend when I was out of town at a wedding. For example, I ate Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast yesterday because the devil made me do it! He told me, "it's okay...you deserve it! It's a fun weekend!" Shame on him, shame on me. Two donuts, one chocolate milk, 1050 calories, and some serious feelings of guilt didn't do a damn thing for me. I learned a big lesson this weekend and that is my health and I are worth saying NO to the DD. A couple of donut munchkins would've been a better choice and I wouldn't have completely deprived myself. Oh, did I mention they had a "pasta bar" at the wedding? The bastard talked me into that, too! The advice I would give is to recognize when you've gone a bit off path, take note of it, learn from it, and get right back on board! We owe it to ourselves, our loved ones, and our hips!

Michelle J said...

Here is the quote i live by and it works!!!!


"Nobody says that they wish they hadn't run today."

Just think about it. Sure, at
6.30am i am thinking, fuck i want to stay in warm bed, but afterwards, after my 5 miles i'm all like dude you did it. I then think of the above quote and do it again the next day!!

Love ya girlie!!! Your doing amazing!!!

Tori said...

I need some motivation myself... I want to get healthier, but I'm so busy with college and work that I'm pooped when I get home--and besides, I need to do HW then. Ugh. When you find the secret, let me know.

Nice blog though! Good idea for getting yourself motivated. Maybe I can incorporate that into my blog? Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

ugh. you are so right on... my diet devil has convinced me that cheetos are a food group and that eating 12 butterfingers is ok bc they're bitesize! he is evil. and he must be stopped!

Lindsay said...

I enjoy lean cuisines =)