Monday, July 26, 2010

Let's Talk About Sex!

Okay, we're not talking about sex, I just thought that would be an awesome title. I'm also feeling an incredible amount of horniness staying at my parents where there is no prospects of making out with anyone.

But don't run away just yet. I NEEEEEEEED YOU. I have some things to fill you in on and a few important questions for you.

So you're wondering why the Adventure Bowl "Let's Go Jet Skiing" post is down from this morning. And you're wondering, what happened with the nose ring I was debating getting before this trip and also, what the hell happened with my cousin's boyfriend after I so drunkenly tried to put the kabosh on their relationship two months ago, only to guiltily find out he broke up with her two weeks later because of what I said, BUT then was reuniting with her at my Aunt & Uncle's house for the weekend. This weekend.

The same weekend I was staying at their house. With my cousin who's only wish in life is to get married before 30 to someone who "looks good on paper." And she had no idea what I had (drunkenly) done. What would he do when he saw me? Would he tell her? Would her parents, WAY TOO invested in this relationship, kill me in my sleep?

First up, nose ring. The nose ring is something that on the right girl and done in a teeny tiny way, I think is sexy. It's something that's also kind of rebellious and I like rebellion. Mostly because I am so freakin' good. I mean, I used to be bad. I was bad until I was 17, then I turned good. Good can be boring. I'm bored of being boring.

But when I picked "Get a Nose Ring" from the Adventure Bowl, I was leery because I was on my way home to where my parents live and I knew they would stroke out if they saw me with a hole in my face. But on the other hand, it would be a symbolic gesture of... this is my life. They seem to be having some trouble grasping that. And that I want other things than them/dreams than them/life goals than them. And that my ideas of success are so separate from theirs.

So, the nose ring, was a go. I had to do it. I will say, reading your comments, I was blown away because you were all so compassionate in your answers to the question: "Should I or shouldn't I?" I thought it would be 100% "DO IT!" But it was really more like, and I am paraphrasing here: "The spirit of the adventure bowl is to make your life better, it's too move your forward and open you up. If getting the nose ring is going to be a big negative in your life because you are fighting with your Mom or so nervous about her reaction - what's the point?"



I still felt the need, like, to hold up the adventure bowl as I set it up - no excuses, no backing out. But then I got the call,, "Bring home your funeral pants." My great uncle is very, very sick. One of my best friends is his hospice worker, so I knew from her, it was pretty bad. He's 84 and has lived an incredible, amazing, good person life.

But I will not and would not go to his funeral with a nose ring. No discussion. So that adventure went back in the bowl.

Now, as for the whole outcome of my cousin's boyfriend's visit, here is the comment I left in the "I'm Predicting One of The Most Uncomfortable Nights of My Life Will Be Happening Tonight," along with some added flair:

"I was able to avoid my cousin's boyfriend for 36 hours - like a stealth ninja. But I did run into him this morning.

I was coming up the stairs and there he is with my cousin, looking at him all adoring, with my aunt and uncle, also looking at him adoringly, like the son-in-law they soon hope he'll be. My stomach was spazming, our eyes locked. "Get it together," I thought just as my aunt said, "K, you remember J?"

Oh, I remember him. I remember telling him if he had no intention of getting serious with my cousin to get the hell away from her. (5 Martinis) I pulled my shit together, slapped on an innocent smile and said... "Well, hardly... I was SO DRUNK THAT NIGHT I BARELY REMEMBER A THING. So... so drunk... almost needed to be hospitalized. Like ten martinis and someone might have slipped me a roofie. Yes, the date rape drug. I think I ingested the date rape drug. So, no, don't remember you, this is, like, the first time we met. What was your name again?"

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd, then we shook hands like we never met.

I know, I'm patting myself on the back right now.

Third piece of business: Why am I not going Jet Skiing today? It was picked from the Adventure Bowl this morning, bathing suits were donned and sun screen was slathered on. So what the hell?

Because I realized the only thing better than doing an adventure to shake up your life, get you out of a rut, the damn monotiny of every day - IS TO TAKE SOME ONE WHO IS ALSO FEELING THAT WAY - WITH YOU.

Yes, that's right, I'm dragging "2nd best friend" with me. (I call her that to make her work harder to win the "first best friend" title). Life has been cruel to her of late. Let me run down the roster of the shit storm that has been her life -- wait, technically it's only one thing - lack of money. But you know how that branches off? She and her hot man were sure they would lose their house. They missed 2 mortgage payments after their ARM bank loan readjusted. Her work hours were cut back. The stress made her so sick she had to go to the hospital (she was fainting & feeling nauseous) AND to make things worse, since she has a $3,000 deductible, she had to pay for the whole visit out of pocket.

Just adding more stress sauce into the stress pot that was her life.

So I invited her. But she works CONSTANTLY. But she's getting Wednesday morning off to go Jet Skiing. And when I told her, her voice sounded so excited, I pictured her as the sixteen year old, when I first met her and we did very bad, mischeivious, spontaneous things together. We once laughed so hard after being particularly bad girls that B laughed so hard, she collapsed on the kitchen floor...

And then she peed on it. Peed from laughter! When is the last time you peed from laughter? Right? Life needs to be that fun again. I need it and she needs it and that's why we are waiting until Wednesday to Jet Ski.

So I will post all fun that will be had on Wednesday. But I'm curious... What adventure do you want to do? What adventure would be symbolic of getting back to that fun, carefree sixteen year old? But more importantly, what I am really curious about is: What holds you back? You can answer anonymously if you want. Is it kids? Being overworked? Too settled? Have you forgotten the things you like or the person you were (I've been through all of this except, the kids part, I don't have those - so there's no judging.) I'm just curious.

If you fee this post might inspire someone, feel free to Twitter it or post it on your Facebook. Now go into the comments and answer my nosey questions!



Anonymous said...

yay! it'll be great! i love love love the water. have fun!
inspired by you i pushed myself to go on a very scary rollercoaster this past weekend. i spent the whole time in the queue and on the ride terrified that i was too tense and would get whiplash! then when i was finally on it, i got a rush of adrenaline and remembered i was there to have fun and just screamed and laughed the whole way (except the terrifying upside down part). :-) best part was remembering that before i got scared, i loved doing this as a kid - what's not to like about a whole load of great old memories tumbling from the forgotten recesses into the forefront of your mind?

adventure grrl said...

YES! YES! YES! These are the comments that I love!

"best part was remembering that before i got scared, i loved doing this as a kid - what's not to like about a whole load of great old memories tumbling from the forgotten recesses into the forefront of your mind?"

That is awesome, that is an awesome comment!

Anonymous said...

Hey wait a minute. I demand a refund. Where the fuck is the follow up on the night out with the disaster couple?

Mar said...

I agree with Mrs Fatass! What happened with the couple? And what did you decide about the nose ring? The suspense is killing me! Ok, not quite but still!

I'm glad to see the adventure bowl come up and I can't wait to hear how you enjoyed it. I rode a 4 wheeler for the first time this year and while very nervous, it looked like fun and I figured that since I can drive a car I could do it! Sure enough, after a few minutes of being hesitant I loved whipping around on it!

It's fun to find new things as you get older. Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks! (*note not implying you are old in any way!)

Have fun jet skiing!

Aunt Becky said...

I am SO JEALOUS! I love, love, love, love, love Jet Skiing. Have so much fun. It's like heaven.

AubreyMo said...

Jet Skiing is fun. I fear water too - don't know why really, I just fear it's depths. And fish. I don't like fish touching me. But Jet Skiing? You're above the water, you're cruising, and you can make your own waves. It's radical.

A fear I have is flying. FLYING. That's like, you, and fifty other people all close together in this huge plane with these tiny little wings and propellers and my god, how in the hell do those things FLY?!

Buuut I'm going to have to get over that. Sunday after next is my first flight. Woot!

I'll be waiting to see how Jet Skiing goes for you!

Inez said...

I love this entry, so excited to get caught up on everything - the boyfriend story was the best, so hilarious. I think it's way cool that u are taking your friend jet skiing. write about it as soon as you can!

Erin said...

Okay seriously, your last post made me laugh harder than I have in weeks and I definitely needed the laugh. Thanks for sharing that and allowing me and the many others to laugh AT you (I'd laugh with you but you sounded far too horrified to be laughing). I'm glad it worked out okay in the end, although I WAS kind of hoping you'd confront him sooner. Alas, I am in awe of your ninja skills. Please teach me sometime!

Mar said...

I think taking a friend is a great idea! Adventures are more fun when we share them with people that enjoy it too. And you're doing such a sweet thing for her, when life's been shitty. Awesome.

I miss laughing so hard you pee. My bestie lives 1700 miles away and I wish I could share something like this with her!

Erin said...

P.S I have had this genius idea of how I could jet-ski. All I gotta do is use tubes for tires, throw myself in the middle of a lake and get someone to attach me to the back of a boat. How badass would the wheelies be?! I might try it sometime and report back if I somehow don't drown. Right now you're probably thinking "Wow this kid needs to get a GRIP!" and it's true, the grip on my tires is wearing thin and tiring me out in the process. Wow. You thought you were having chicken Alfredo for dinner, well too bad because I just gave you an array of lame puns, WHICH is a pun within a pun. And jeez, I'm sorry. I understand if you ban me from commenting on your blog ever again.

Quinn said...

Wow! I wish I was one of you best friends! I would even take number 657,875,921st best friend as long as you took me on one of your adventures! The more I read your blog the more I start to question what really holds me back from living an adventure. Money? yes. Fear? maybe a little. Kids? perhaps. The truth is that I do TRY to have adventures. My daughter(she is only 2)and I will dress up in tutus and beads and dance to Lady Gaga.We will fingerpaint incredible pictures together...and then end up painting each other. so my adventures might not be super crazy, but I think my whole life is an adventure and I'm going to enjoy every moment while I can. If an opportunity comes for me to...I don't know...go skydiving or eat an exotic food, I will definitely take it. Thanks for the inspiration and the reminder to live life amazingly!

Chrissy said...

well life is an adventure every thrilling, scary, joyous, terrifying, ridiculous, happy minute of it!

What holds me back? Well I guess I'd say kids...but then again having children is the adventure to top ALL adventures! I got my nose pierced when my oldest son was 12...but he cried and so I respectfully removed it for him reminding him that this works both if someday he ever wanted to get a tattoo I would remind him of this! He is 21 now he has entertained the idea of a tattoo but hasn't as of yet gotten 1, while my 20 year old son has already gotten 2!

So I guess what holds me back is a desired mutual respect for how my actions impact my loved ones but more than anything I hold me back! I am the most deliberate lover of rules and me the a big adventure would be to not feed a parking meter or to buy a new article of clothing rather than a thrift shop find!

I can't even begin to think of what kind adventure would enhance my life! Just the thought alone is an adventure!

BreeDaLee said...

I love your blog, so inspiring. I can't wait until the adventure story is up.

anji said...

I'm joining the army in 25 days, as an overweight woman who's gone through hell in my life the past year.

I'm going the army because for once, I'm going to do something I always wanted to do and I'm going to follow through with that.

Tell me that THAT won't be an adventure! *fingers crossed*

It'sNotAKitten said...

LOL, I have so much to think about now. I def. agree with the other commenter that said she holds herself back. Life just feels so busy that I put everything first except for me. Maybe I have forgotten what makes me happy. I do want to get that joy back though. Thank you for this post.

misssarahlou said...

Hmmm, what would make me feel like I was 16 again... I think to just drop everything, not have to worry about things and just go traveling. Stopping me from doing this is future hubby who wants to settle down and have kids and also my pug! I love her so much but it seriously is like having a kid, its not like I could leave her behind...maybe I could get someone to do a show about the english girl traveling the world with her little pug - what da ya reckon?

Stephanie ;) said...

I'm proud of you for not getting the nose ring because of the current situation! That's the true spirit of being adventurous to me, being able to weigh whether it's really that important when it's against family. I've wanted to do a lot of things before, but didn't manage to, because of my family too. Now, when I look back, I'm so glad I didn't do them because I think I might have regret my actions, and also, my parents will be so unhappy with me. That said, I still want you to know that if you know it's not gonna make anyone(that matters to you) unhappy, and the only barrier is yourself, then go do it! :)

Gianna said...

Love this... what would make me feel like a sixteen year old? I'm making that list tonight -- I want to have all those feelings again of being silly and spontaneous and as you say, joyful. Thank you for the inspiration.

Anonymous said...

Yay for jet skiing! I, too, want a teeny tiny nose ring. And as a 36 almost 37 year old woman, I feel like it's well within my power to get one.
But, I'm going to wait until I'm 40 or until both my parents are in the ground. Whichever comes first.
Or, maybe I won't get one at all.

And I really really wanted my adventure to be a 2 day nothingbutsexaffair with a stranger, but that didn't work out when I tried to clear it with my husband, so. . .

I'm stumped. Maybe I'll just read your blog and live vicariously.

Lynda said...

Oh wow, great post! Ok, so first adventure that came to mind off the top of my head is to go on a road trip, like across the country (USA or Canada, I'm a Canuck but long to see more of both) in a camper van or on motorbike, with someone else, and do the hippie camp out or motel it thing. What holds me back? Worrying about making my debt payments (credit lines for school, and school lone) and the fact that I have no savings, so i need to work, which means I need to stay in one place. I need a mobile job, or some way to get around this so I can do this before I die..I need to travel more! And to travel with someone who embraces a healthy lifestyle like me, so someone i can work out with and who doesn't want to just booze it up in every city.

Wow...this was soo cool to just write down, Thank You!!!!! xoxo

Lynda said...

Oh!! forgot to mention I love love love how you handled the drunk you don't remember. Brilliant! I've had guys use that line on me before, so at first I was bristled by it, but then I realized just how perfect it was for your moment. Sometimes we tell 'lil white lies for a reason, so as not to hurt people's feelings more than necessary, to keep the peace...awesome!!

Sherene said...

I can appreciate you holding off on the nose ring, but I hope it doesn't sink too far down in the adventure bowl and get buried. Still, it's probably better not to go jet skiing with a new piercing.

My adventure? It's not something traditionally thought of as adventurous, but since traditional adventures are already my forte, I've got to expand my horizons and challenge myself in other ways. So, I'm putting off the move to Europe I've been pining over for years and forcing myself to be responsible (gah!) and finish my degree. Packing up and moving on is easy for a wanderer, staying put and committing to something is HARD - and it's that feeling of being obligated/confined/trapped to a long-term project that has held me back so far. So, as bizarro as it sounds, my adventure is staying put and hitting the books.

hope n laughter said...

Your questions of what happened to our younger selves inspired me to write a post in response. I've also lost that person I used to be. I want her back sometimes, not always a little angry for my taste, but somtimes I need her gumption.

hope n laughter said...

Oh, by the way you made me laugh (drunk, luve it)and can't wait to hear about your jet ski adventure.

Quix said...

I have jetskiied and loved it, enjoy! I used to have no problem with open water swimming but in the last 10 years I've gotten squeamish about it. No mas. Two triathlons planned this year! Woo!

p.s. blacking out, or at least pretending to - is a lady's best excuse for just about anything. I used it often in my college days, heh. :)

Hey Jen said...

I stopped letting fear of trying new things hold me back several years ago. Now I relish change.

As always I love reading your stuff. You write so poetically. :)

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

What would my adventure be? Hmm. I had so much fun at 16 but I don't remember doing anything particularly mischevious... But I'd have to say that my adventure would have to be to walk/run a 5k. I'd love to run it. Dreaming!