Let me set the scene. My mother and I are in the hospital waiting room before we go see my Grandmother. She says she has something she really wants to talk to me about.
Let me add that my mother has a Prayer Day for each of my family members and went to Church three times this week, once for Sunday, once for January 1, "The Feast of the Blessed Mother" and once January 6, "The Feast of the Epiphany." She is a GOOD GIRL. When she dies, she will be cannonized faster than Mother Theresa.
And... Action.
Mom: "I really want to talk to you about something."
Me: "Sure."
Mom: "I think I want a Vibrator."
Inner Dialogue: "Do Not Laugh. Do not laugh. Do not LAUGHHHHHHHHHHH."
Me: (tentatively) "Okay."
Mom: "And I would like you to help me pick one out."
INNER IMAGINATION: I pass out, I'm spayled face down on the waiting room floor. Nurse: "We've got a Code 51: Daughter down due to too much info about Mom's SEX LIFE! We need a crash cart and a time machine to erase the last five minutes of her life."
It's not over, folks. Mom has a CATALOGUE to show me.
11 comments:
SHUT....UP! And how the hell did this conversation end? You mom is a total trip! :)
Yikes! Good luck with that. I will let you know if I find a time machine...
Holy shit! Well, my grandmother did ask if I'd ever had an orgasm once, but I blame that question on the beer she was drinking. Just think, now you have a very interesting conversation to hold over her head the next time she mentions your weight.
give her my email, I can recomend a few that would BLOW HER MIND!!
that's what good friends do!
ROFLMAO!!
I hope you pointed out a couple you'd like for your birthday. ;)
Hmm.. maybe our mothers should chat. :) Mine could certainly benefit from some "vibra-therapy"!
Loosen up, Ma!
OMG!!!! That is too funny. Atleast you know what to buy her for Christmas next year, or her B-Day whichever one comes first.!!!!!!
There's a couple hours of therapy for you....
= )
Oh my! I didn't know moms USED vibrators, or even knew they existed!
I think I need therapy now.
Surfergrrl, it's funny because the original title for this was going to be "SHUT... UP!"
What's weird is, it happened to me and yet I still can't believe it either :)
holy crap!! that's all I can come up with.
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