Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Super Disgusting Post That Will Come Down in 24 Hours

This post is for the ladies.

I'm doing my taxes.

If you’re like most people, you did your taxes in April. No, not me, not when you can get an extension 'til September.

So I got all the "tax stuff" spread across my bed. The receipts, the calculator, the Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen folders (one for personal and one for business... I think you can guess which sister goes with which.)

Got my ice coffee in a Big Gulp cup which got me chased out of my 7-11 this morning because apparently, you aren't supposed to put a hot beverage in a cold cup even if it is 90 million degrees out. There was no reasoning with Bhadraa, the cashier behind the counter, she just told me not to come back if I could not act right.

Anywhoo...

My dog is pawing at me in a way I think, annoyingly means, "Let's go to the dog park" but I now know means, "Lady, dial 9-1-1."

He starts to gag. But it's not bad gagging. He's bad gagged before like when I impulsively adopted him a BFF in a the form of a 8 pound devil dog who's favorite past times were taking a crap in my bed and never letting me sleep.

Devil dog gave my dog, Cooper, the "bad gagging" or as I found out, it's proper name from the vet after a $75 visit, "kennel cough."

Kennel cough was bad gagging. This, today, was not bad gagging.

Still, he seemed uncomfortable and before I could decide if I should scoop him up, hang him upside down and give him a wack on the back to get his air way clear....

He....

He...

He... threw up a tampon in my bed.

On my taxes! A tampon. One that had been... (I am so mortified) gently used.

He is a ten pound chihuahua mix with a throat that CANNOT be bigger than my Big Gulp straw. How did that go down there? And HELLO, how did that, get back up????

Luckily, the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen folders were plastic, so whew, those were saved. I'm not even going to talk about the clean-up process because that would be too disgusting, though I will say that I have since looked up prices on Haz-mat suits for the home.

Because dogs can be gross.

And then...

And I am not kidding...

Though I wish I was...

But I swear on my family's life... that I'm not...

HE DID IT AGAIN. He gagged up, right there, on Ashley Olsen's 2007 Personal Tax Folder... a second tampon.

And now I have to burn my whole apartment down.


This blog is dedicated to fur kids.

Why keep all this glorious grossness to yourself?! If you have pet-lovin' friends who might enjoy this story, just use the little envelope icon below to email it to them. Of course, they'll thank you for it!
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32 comments:

forgetfulone said...

I say, "Don't delete it." First of all, this is a FORMER boss, right? And you never mentioned a name, right? And it's your blog and your opinions, right? I understand feeling bad, but I really hate when people read other people's blogs and try to use it against them or make them feel bad for speaking their mind and thoughts.

Besides, I like your blog, and I wouldn't change a thing on it.

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

i say dont delete it. I mean the boss has already read it, the damage is done. i mean who cares, like the other poster said, u never said any names and its YOUR blog. if they dont want to read the truth then they shouldnt read it. besides its a part of ur life and it shouldnt be forgotten. they hurt u first. its not like u were getting even or anything, u didnt know they would read it.

i hope this helps :)
xoxo

thegoodnamesaretaken said...

How did your boss even find your blog in the first place?

Anonymous said...

LEAVE IT UP!!!

For my entire life I have been the "good girl" like you.....a people pleaser and a doormat. The only thing that it ever really got me was hurt, used and unhappy. After being very unhappy (so unhappy I was physically sick from it) and reading your blog I decided that I am going to take care of myself from now on and not worry about what other people think. Your blog is amazing, inspirational and most importantly - it is YOURS. Don't let anyone make you change it. Especially if it is a former boss that stole your work and used you.

KappaGirl said...

You got so many comments on that post which was hugely inspiring so I say - don't change a THING!

Anonymous said...

Leave it up! the damage is done and noone can identify the boss from the post as it stands who doesn't already know about the situation. Its not actually having an impact on that boss at all really except to make him/her feel awkward (which he or she should!).

Anonymous said...

screw him!!! FORMER boss, he has nothing to do with your life now. I cant remember what exactly happened and I should because I read your blog weekly, but did he care so much about you to save your job or put you in another..... This is completely anonymous, he is being stupid (makes him feel more important to think that others care about him) which I am sure they don't

Stacy said...

On the ethical side of things, I can see your dilemma. As a writer, I often dabble in outside projects. However, as long as his name was not mentioned, he cannot sue you nor force you to take it down.

Krista Lou Cook said...

I think your the only one that can make a decision here. My input is... if you feel bad- write about something nice he did. If you don't feel bad- leave it. Even he can learn from it.

Michelle J said...

Absolutely leave it!!

DO NOT DELETE!

M

Anonymous said...

Question?? Did you ask for these boss related things to happen to you? When he did and said these things to you did He say now I am putting the screws to you toots, but it's out little secret, don't tell anyone.

My guess is NO!! When these things happened to you I am guessing he could have cared less. He now only cares cause your selling him out for the kind of person he truly is.

Who's problem might that be? My guess is HIS. Good for you, that way maybe other bosses will think twice before treating their employees as he treated you.

LOVE YOU WOMAN.

PrincessB said...

Do what you feel is right. I took down a post or two about the guy I'm now dating (we were "figuring things out" at the time) and his ex girlfriend. But that was personal and she was reading the blog.

This seems different. And you know what? If he asked me to take down another post, I probably wouldn't unless it was intentionally cruel. As long as it doesn't identify him, no worries.

anji said...

I would suggest leaving it but - add an addendum to it, with a small apology directly to him.... or, maybe you can ask him what he thinks you should do and see if it is something that will appease him AND you.

like others said, it didn't name him... but, let's be honest! ALL BOSSES are bosses for a reason -- to boss others around and to tell us what to do for our job... and that's probably why they don't do things... 'cause, well - we're busy doing it for them.

I've had several bosses like that. Sometimes people just don't realise how they appear to others... at the same time, I've also had the Ultimate Boss, who would work 19 hours a day, 7 days a week... they instead make you feel a little inferior.

Not sure if that helps at all.

myself said...

No don't delete it.

It is how you felt at the time, and chances are your former boss is upset because, it just might be the truth. There are no names, just because they recognized themselves, doesn't mean that it actually *is* about them. There are many bad bosses out there that do and have done the same thing.

Skye said...

The truth can hurt but it's still the truth. That person should recognize that they did inappropriate things in the wok place and took significant advantage of you. I say leave it up and tell him to shove it.

adventure grrl said...

Thanks for all your awesome comments. I read every single one and you're all right, it was my truth to tell. So that post stays put. This one, I took down, because what's done is done, no need to be rehashing it all...

NOT when I could be using the space to tell ya this little story! :)

Melly said...

Ohhhhh EWWWWWWWW!

That's just nasty Nasty NASTY!

I hope your dog has learned his lesson... and I guess I'm wondering why these lovely cotton gems weren't flushed down the toilet?

Michelle J said...

Oh my goodness!!! OK, so here is what i think:
The grossness of your doggie gagging up not 1 but 2 tampons is in a way kinda cool. Your doggie is some kind of rock star!!! I can't explain it really, just cool in a gross way!!! :O)

Lessons learned AG!! I will answer on my blog!!!

Michelle

Two Date Diva said...

OMG that is too funny! I really hope the poor little guy is okay! Perhaps a doggie proof bathroom door might be in order?!?!?

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

LMAOOOO

Rose said...

OMG that is too funny!!! My dog has eaten pretty weird things, but I have never heard of that!! That just made my day a little better then it was going. Don't Delete it!

Anonymous said...

well that is disgusting. and it did make me wonder HOW ON EARTH HE GOT USED ONES? maybe time to call the plumber? anyway, glad he's ok. and hope you get your taxes done. i'd be a bach flower remedy addict if i had to do tax forms.

hope n laughter said...

LOL I have tears in my eyes. So gross and hilarious this post is getting sent to everyone in my address book. I'm very happy that I checked your blog today, to think I could have missed reading.
Oh and on your boss thing glad that you didn't.

Trials and Tribulations... said...

I haven't laughed this hard in forever...I'm crying, can't breathe, stomach is cramping, laugh! DON'T DELETE IT!!!

Cheryl M. said...

Cracking up!! We have two puppies and I have pulled some pretty vile things from their mouths but your story tops anything here!! Hope the little guy is feeling better!

adventure grrl said...

Well, all your sweet posts convinced me to keep this one up. As for the question as to why I didn't just flush the damn things... well, I like to keep them for my scrap book.

I KID, I KID! My lease says I'm responsible for "pipe issues" so I'm just extra cautious and throw them away. Now I will be extra cautious, throw them away and BOLT THE DOOR.

:)

tc said...

You and your vampire dog and can't come to our house anymore.

So disgusting I threw up. And what do you know? Also a tampon.

Heather said...

I am so glad you did not delete this! I had to put my dog down yesterday (that we have had for 8 years) and have been so sad, this was a great laugh for me! I don't come here often or post, but had to on this one. Please, leave it up!!

Anonymous said...

ok, i've been a lurker here for some time now, but this one got me out of the perverbial closet.

LOL about the dog treats! TWO tampons! yikes. Well.... speaking from experience - be happy that he threw it up, rather than have it start to move through his intestinal tract only to get stuck part way and obstruct his entire system. My dog ate (you're not going to believe this) my boyfriends roommates gay friends rubber sex toy. yes. i couldn't make that up. went to the emerency vet twice to the tune of $3000.

hi, great blog. :)

Eve said...

Bwahahahahahahaha! Holding my side,...The title for this post should be "the post that will come UP" in 24 hours! That would so happen to me while in front of a male neighbor or coworker I barely knew just to make it all the more humiliating.

I am so tempted to pass this along--but fear the delight in your disgust might curse me.

Rachel said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAA! Dogs are so gross. I have a theory that girl chihuahuas (like mine) are precious, and that boy chihuahuas (like my mom's) are gross. My dogs: don't fart, don't eat tampons, etc. My moms dog: farts, has disgusting poop, eats disgusting food, etc. etc. My dogs have, however, thrown up before--which was gross.

By the way, that story is AWESOME! You should leave it up.

And start flushing your tampons as God and Tampax intended. ;)

Broken Barn Industries said...

I used to have to keep my bathroom garbage in the cupboard under the sink because my dogs (a greyhound and a pit mix) were so awful fond of my, ahem, things.