It's weird. The older I get, the more I feel like I am becoming a Mom to my Mom. I even had this urge to send her $25 in a Halloween card the other day.On the phone last week, I was trying to encourage my Mom to um, actually tell the truth in therapy to her new therapist. I find it crazy that she would resist this as the whole point of going to therapy is to TELL THE TRUTH AND THEN GET BETTER.
I capitalize it because I am so dumb founded by my mother's desire to never be able to admit anything is wrong EVER.
So, there I am, talking to my Mom and saying how great it has been that I am now seeing a new therapist and how this is really helping inject some energy into figuring out certain things in my life.
(The manipulative subtext was, "And I hope you'll do the same." Which is out of love, people. My Mom has been carrying around 40 pounds of emotional baggage in a 10 pound bag.)
And this is what she says to me:
Mom: "I'm glad you're seeing a new therapist. I did not like your last one at all."
Me: "Well, why not?"
Mom: "Because she was teaching you about boundaries."
UH, YEAH!
She might as well have said, "I did not like her. She was doing the job she was paid to do and it was becoming really hard on me to push around my more emotionally stable daughter."
The noise I made when she said that was a 1/2 gasp and a 1/2 laugh that resulted in me kind of 1/2 choking and having to get off the phone.
I didn't know if I should have been pissed or find it amazingly hilarious.
I'm going with hilarious.
This blog is dedicated to half price Halloween candy. Bring it!
14 comments:
I definitely save some of my favorite candy for myself and give the kids the stuff I don't like first. Awful, I know. :)
I hope your mom starts to see the value in boundaries or least to tell the truth in therapy.
moms...where would we be without em? I know that strangling gagging sound you made intimately!! My own dear mother got mad at me one year when I told her, "NO, i did not want her to get me a leather jacket for Christmas." She got huffy and said, "why not? I'm never going to be buying you a wedding dress, so let me at least buy you the jacket?" I never wished more fervently that I had one of those old fashioned telephones that I could slam down into the hook! (and I still don't have the coat OR the wedding dress).
"I will remember these feelings and use them in my acting."
which just goes to show that sometimes she really does know how to tell the truth! i go with hilarious...! i'd be very proud of my mom if she managed to own up to feeling something like that about someone in my life.
If you know who your mother's therapist is - you can always call/email/fax/snail-mail some information to you. The therapist can't talk to YOU - but there's no reason you can't inform her. :)
Hooray for Mom-Boundaries!!!!
i hope your new therapist teaches you about boundaries too. Everyone needs them. :)
Oh my goodness haha. Your mom and and my mom sound similar- except even if she's lying, she's got to the point where she attends the therapist. Although undoubtedly my mother would do the same. (She's bipolar). It's hard to rise above when its someone to dear to your heart, but just try your hardest (which is still not even remotely close to easy) to take it with a grain of salt.
My mother once told me she "knows she's crazy, its in writing" and "I'm her daughter so I have to deal with it". Isn't that somethin?
Chiiin up girly.
If it's not one thing, it's your mother...
I actually DID enclose 200 dollars in my mothers Halloween card.
The older you get, the younger your mother will become. Its the tragic consequence of age...or something else less palatable.
My mother is in her 70's and from another country. If the term, "boundary" came up she would have assumed your therapist was trying to interfere with the line between Northern and Southern Ireland. This failure to understand is only more compelling as both of my mothers brothers are, oddly, psychiatrists. groan.
Hey there! Thanks so much for the comment. It's nice to see somebody on blogger that can I can relate to. I'm in the beginning stages of therapy myself, so I'm going to track my progress in my blog as well. Here's to a healthy recovery for us both! *hug*
-Sarah
I've always wanted to go to therapy, even though I'm not sure I have a particular need for it. Just for the gems like this, if nothing else!
I vote part pissed and part hilarious -- hilarious only if she was at least semi-joking.
Heya, i am in therapy and i love my therapist!!! I think she loves me too, in a patient crazy thinking she is helping kinda way!! She is helping too!!
My mom always says to me, so how long will you be in therapy??? And is it helping?? I'm all like YEAH dude it is helping!! Can't you tell?? She doesn't answer that last question.!!!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one!!! My mother hates when I talk boundaries too, it's so offensive to her but I'm not supposed to be offended by the things she says to me! Crazy!
At least your mom was honest about how she felt about the therapist. Take progress where you can get it!;)
Hi. New to your blog.
Moms.
Humph!
I could dedicate an entire blog to mine.
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