Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Just Got Asked Out By An 80 Year Old Man

Seriously.

I need to have a better moisturizing regimen if the only guys I'm going to be asked out by are the ones that take their teeth out at night.

So, I'm at the dog park and I start talking to this adorable old man. I think, "Look at me, I'm a good person. I talk to old people." (I also bought a homeless man a burrito at El Pollo Loco, not that I'm bragging, except that I'm bragging.)

And then he asks me out. For sushi. Now I'm feeling awkward and this is weird. He's 80.

And as I float off into a fantasy of becoming the Anna Nicole Smith in sweatpants to his J. Howard Marshall in a Members Only jacket, he snaps me back into reality by saying...

"Of course, if I take you out, we would have to go dutch."

WHAT???

All of a sudden, I've been shut down by someone I didn't even want to go out with. Someone who, quite frankly, can't even promise me they'll be alive for a date next week.

It hurt my feelings.

And then I gave him my email address.

I'm going to make him love me enough to buy me sushi.

I wonder what I should wear when I go to meet my new step-grandkids.


This blog is dedicated to wasabi nuts.
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15 comments:

saveyoursoul said...

OMGGGG

Love it

Andrea said...

AAhhhhhhhhh!! That would give me the heeby jeebies!!!

howitstarts said...

Did he have a cute dog at least?

Tw!nkleTw!nkle said...

LOL this is too funny. im sorry to be laughing at ur pain. old men can be so stingy sometimes!! do u even LIKE sushi???

yours,
Twinkle

adventure grrl said...

Howitstarts - His dog's name is Kitty after his wife who died. That's a real bring down - if we're going to date, I don't want to be constantly be reminded of the woman I'm competing with.

twinkletwinkle - I don't really love sushi. He could have had me with McDonalds but obviously I'm not even good enough for that!!!!

Karen said...

At least you still got it.

Surfergrrl said...

you should have said, "well if i'm going to put out, then you at least need me to buy sushi." :) trouble is, he might have accepted. tee

Michelle J said...

HAHA!! Oh my goodness!

I have a story too! I was at my mechanic getting greased...my car, not me!! Anyway, i was sitting with an older gentleman for about 2 hours just chatting as we were waiting for our cars. My car was ready first (thank goodness)...as i was walking over to my car i see out of the corner of my eye, the older man running or sprinting up to me. Came up behind me and said real quiet like...hey can i get your phone number so i can come over some time??? I'm all like dude, your married with grandkids. Then he blushed said he was sorry and slowly walked away!!!

Did i do the wrong thing?? Perhaps, but it freaked me out a bit!!!

Have a great weekend girlie!!!

Butterfly said...

Lovesssssssssss it. You're so funny.

TulipRain said...

This gave me a laugh I soooooo needed today.

GoGo said...

Kiss him with tongue and then tell us everything - LOL. PS, I check your blog a million times a day, I totally love it.

forgetfulone said...

Go for it!

RadoMom said...

Wow, dutch huh? My grandpa...who's 90 btw, says that is totally rude! You ask a girl out you pay =) according to the senior citizen "rule book". = )

JIMSIGHT said...

Finally you have peaked my interest, then I realized it was the old man and not the homeless guy that asked you out. LOL...

Love your posts, and I know your battle all to well.

andrea said...

i've just started reading your blog after seeing the link on noble savage's page. i love this post. this is EXACTLY the type of thing that would happen to me!